New Beginnings
by laur824
Summary: Months after her break-up with Finn, Rachel slowly begins to find herself again amidst family tragedy. Her friends in the glee club help her to rediscover herself and the pieces she lost along the way. Puckleberry Relationship with other Berry-flavoured relationships. An old but new and improved story.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel sighed as she closed her locker door and made her way down to the choir room. The last couple of months had been really hard on her. What with finding about Finn and Santana's "getting it on" just before Sectionals and Finn breaking up with her after he found out she had kissed Noah, you could say she was little tired of everything. Rachel had so many bitter feelings swirling around inside of her, it felt like a storm was raging inside of her and no matter what she did nothing made it go away. Not even singing helped to get rid of the emotions that kept her awake at night and disrupted her focus on her goals and on herself.

She arrived at the Glee room and took a seat. Mercedes came in and sat next to her.

"What's the matter with you, diva?" Mercedes asked. The two girls and Kurt had become friends this year and now Mercedes was one of Rachel's close friends.

"Nothing, Mercedes," Rachel said quietly.

"Yeah right, this isn't you Rachel. Don't think I haven't noticed a change in your personality. You used to be all take-no-prisoners in here, and annoying as it is, that's what keeps the club motivated. But you haven't been doing that lately. Hell, you haven't been making suggestions for songs for Nationals and whenever someone says something nasty about you, you act like you don't even notice. It's like you don't care anymore," Mercedes said, seriously concerned for her friend and fellow diva.

"I've never cared Mercedes. About Glee club, yes, but as to what people say about me, I'm so used to it, I don't even notice it anymore," Rachel said, the lie rolling easily off her tongue.

Mercedes opened her mouth to argue back, but just then the rest of the club came in followed by Mr. Schuester.

"Okay guys, we've won Regionals and our next stop is Nationals in New York, and we are going to face Vocal Adrenaline since we won Regionals. We need some ideas on potential songs we could sing. Any ideas? Rachel?" Mr Schuester asked, clapping his hands together.

"Sorry , I don't have any ideas, "Rachel said as she shook her head.

"Is it really that or have you finally realized that the club's already got a director and we don't need your suggestions that are always lame anyways?" asked Santana.

"Apparently you weren't listening. I. Don' . . Do you need me to say it a third time or do you want me to draw you a picture?" Rachel asked, with no emotion in her voice at all. Everyone in the room was shocked. Rachel never talked to anyone like that.

"Don't talk that way to me, Berry. Especially since I'm higher up on the food chain than you are and I dress better than you do. I look hip, whereas you look like someone whose fashion sense is grandmother and choirgirl combined," Santana sneered. Rachel stood up and turned around to face Santana and the rest of the Glee club.

"How is the way I just talked to you any different than the way you, Quinn, and Brittany have talked to and treated me for the last two years?" The bitter feelings Rachel had were starting to awaken; she could feel their power taking hold of her.

"So what? We treat you better than most would and the way Vocal Adrenaline treated you last year after Jesse broke your heart," Santana reiterated.

"Oh really? How is throwing slushies on me any different than throwing eggs at me? And if you guys treat me better than most people, then why don't I see any of you standing up for me? Or apologizing for what you guys have done to me?" Rachel countered as she turned to face the fiery Latina, her brown eyes sparking.

"We don't need to apologize to you. Even though Quinn and Britt and I aren't on the Cheerios anymore, we're still higher than you are," Santana said, smirking nastily.

"Santana's right, Rachel. About everything, we do treat you better than most people, and your style is terrible," Finn said. Rachel rounded on him.

"I know you think my style is terrible, Finn. After all, didn't I watch you laugh and agree with Brittany and Santana earlier this year when they insulted me? But you don't treat me any better than the rest of the people at this school and Vocal Adrenaline and Jesse put together. Actually, you are just as bad as Jesse is, if not worse!" Rachel snapped. Rachel looked at to see if he was going to step in. But he seemed just as shocked as everyone else at her outburst.

"What do you mean, Rachel?" Mr. Schue asked.

"I mean that both Finn and Jesse are spineless cowards with no backbone at all, because neither of them stood up for me once. I mean, what kind of person tells someone that they love them and then cracks an egg on their forehead? And as for Finn, when he and I went to pick out a Christmas tree after the choir room got trashed, he . . ." Rachel had to stop for a minute and shake her head to keep the tears from coming and take a deep shaky breath.

"He left me in the tree lot, _alone,_ with no way home and my cell phone," she finished weakly.

"Yeah, and then Rachel called me to come and pick her up," Noah said, a hard edge of anger in his voice. Rachel looked at Mr. Schue, but he was looking at Finn, with disappointment all over his face.

"Is that true, Finn?"

"Yeah, but. . ." Finn said in a weak effort to defend himself.

"But nothing, Finn. You know that the stunt you pulled that night was beyond wrong. What would you have done if something had happened to Rachel? If she had been attacked, or mugged, or raped, or all three at once? She's tiny, and I could be wrong, but I'm not confident that she's strong enough to fight off an attacker," Noah said.

"What's it to you?" Finn asked.

"I care about Rachel. And she doesn't deserve any of the bullshit that you've been spewing to her for the last year," Noah said flatly, he was feeling the way he had in the green room before Sectionals and he had been the only one to come to Rachel's defense out of the entire club.

"You used to pick on her," Santana pointed out, not happy that her ex was still clearly carrying a torch for the smaller brunette.

"Yeah, _used to_ being the keywords, Santana. I apologized to her. And if you or Quinn or Brittany had any decency at all and Hudson for that matter, you guys would apologize to her," Noah snapped. looked at the clock.

"Okay guys, it's clear we aren't going to get that much done today. You're dismissed," he said, rubbing his hand over his eyes. Rachel was the first one out the door. She ran to her locker and grabbed her bag, then dashed to the parking lot and jumped into her car. Thank goodness her dads were away on business. She hated for them to see her like this.

That evening, Rachel had a hot bubble bath, hoping that it would help to calm her down. She climbed out and slathered herself in body lotion, and then pulled on her favourite nightgown and bathrobe. She tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over, but it didn't do any good. She sat down on the bathroom floor and rested her head on her knees and let the tears come. She cried for twenty minutes, and then pulled herself together and braided her hair off to one side. She stood up and headed downstairs to the living room. She put _Tangled_ into the DVD player and curled up under a blanket.

She was about halfway through the movie when she saw headlights turn into her driveway. She quickly stopped the movie and turned off the TV. She hurried to make sure the doors were locked, and then ran up the stairs into her bedroom.

Rachel locked herself in the bathroom and vowed to stay there until whoever it was went away. After about twenty minutes, she unlocked the door and poked her head out to listen. There were very loud knocks on the front door. She decided to go downstairs and tell whoever it was to go away. She picked up the baseball bat that she kept in her room and held it at the ready. She walked slowly down the stairs and then walked to the window on the right side. There was someone on the other side of the door. She unlocked the door and slowly pulled it open, holding the baseball bat in front of her.

"What the hell is that for?" asked Quinn. Rachel's mouth dropped open.

This was something she wasn't expecting. Quinn Fabray, her rival, was standing on her doorstep? Rachel closed her mouth and swallowed.

"In case I needed to take whoever it was on the other side of the door out. What are you doing here Quinn and what do you want? The first time you were here, I got the impression you didn't want to be here at all. And the second time you were over you had ulterior motives," Rachel said as she placed the bat against the wall.

"Can I just come in? I've been standing out here for the last half an hour," Quinn pleaded.

Rachel hesitated, then opened the door further and stepped back so that Quinn could enter. Rachel closed the door behind Quinn. The two girls stood looking at each other.

"Can I offer you anything? Tea? Water? Coffee?" Rachel asked.

"Um, tea would be nice. Thank you." Rachel nodded and gestured for Quinn to go and sit down in the living room.

Quinn sat down on the couch and looked around. The last couple of times she had been to the Berries house, she had just gone down to the basement and up to Rachel's room; she hadn't really looked at the living room. There were pictures of Rachel and her dads on the walls and on the hearth. Rachel came in and set a mug of tea in front of Quinn. Rachel sat in the armchair across from Quinn and looked at her guest. Quinn took a sip of tea, and then spoke.

"After rehearsal this afternoon, I went home and had a really long talk with my mom."

"About what exactly?" Rachel asked.

"I told her about how I've bullied you and your rant this afternoon. She wasn't happy that I've bullied you, and she asked why I did it. I told her because I thought that's what being popular meant. I thought being popular meant picking on people that you considered below you." Rachel nodded.

"I see. And what did she say?"

"She said being popular meant using your power for the greater good and reaching out to kids that don't have many friends," Quinn admitted, the memory of her mother's disappointed and disapproving face fresh in her mind.

"I can't say if she's right or not, because I'm not the most popular person, but last year when you were pregnant, I extended my friendship to you, Quinn. You were nice to everyone else in the Glee Club, but you weren't nice to me. You tossed what I offered right back in my face. How do you think that made me feel?" Rachel asked, she could feel the tears coming up again.

"Rachel, I'd lost everything. I lost my captaincy of the Cheerios, I got kicked out of my home when my parents found out I was pregnant, and I lost Finn. I treated you the way I did because I was trying to hang on to what little I had left. But I agree with you. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did," Quinn confessed and Rachel nodded.

"You know, when you joined Glee Club, I thought maybe we could become friends. But as you put it before Regionals, I'm just living in a schoolgirl fantasy and I need to get it right. I wish I could hate you, but for some reason, I don't," she admitted.

"With the way I've treated you, I'm surprised that you don't hate me," Quinn said.

"Well, it doesn't matter. In case you couldn't tell this afternoon, I'm done with Finn. You can have him if you want him." Rachel stood up. "Let's just face it Quinn. I'm always going to be sloppy seconds to you. Because you had both Finn and Noah first," Rachel said quietly.

"Rachel, please. I didn't come here to antagonize you more. I came here to ask for your forgiveness. I know what I've done is wrong, and I was hoping we could start over and maybe try and be friends," said Quinn pleadingly.

"I need some time to think about it, Quinn. This is all a little sudden. I'll let you know in Glee Club on Monday," Rachel said honestly. Quinn nodded, understanding that this was as far as she was going to get and stood up to leave.

"Thank you for the tea," she said politely. Rachel nodded and saw Quinn to the door. After Rachel closed the door behind Quinn, Quinn wished that she and Rachel could have made a little more progress, but it was a start.

 **Author's Note: I know this is a little bit different from my other story, but this plot bunny has been hopping around in my head for a while now. Anyways. Loved it? Hated it? I promise the Puckleberry will really start happening in the next chapter.**

 **Reviews=Love.**


	2. Chapter 2

Sunday evening, Rachel hummed to herself as she folded her laundry. She'd had a really good day. She had cleaned her house from top to bottom and had rearranged the furniture in her bedroom. As she was painting the picture frames that she had purchased on Saturday, the doorbell rang.

"Now who could that be?" Rachel said aloud. She looked down at herself. Despite her best efforts, she had gotten paint on her legs, her shorts, and her shirt. Rachel shrugged. _At least these are old clothes,_ she thought. Her hair was tied into a messy knot on the top of her head.

She stood up and walked to answer the door. Opening it, she found Mercedes, Kurt, and Blaine on the other side.

"Hey diva," Mercedes greeted her. Rachel smiled and stood back so that her guests could enter.

"Hey guys. I would hug you but as you can see I am absolutely covered in paint," Rachel said, pointing at her clothes.

"Are you doing crafts?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah, I bought new picture frames yesterday for my bedroom and I just started painting them. Can I offer you guys anything?" Rachel asked hospitably.

"No, that's okay. We just thought we would stop in to see what you were up to, but you're busy so we won't stay too long," Kurt said.

"You could stay and help me paint if you'd like," Rachel offered. Kurt gave her a look of horror.

"Rachel, we don't have painting clothes, and I refuse to paint in this, it's Alexander McQueen!" he said, throwing his hands into the air dramatically. Rachel, Blaine, and Mercedes laughed.

"Kurt, sometimes you are even more of a diva than I am," Rachel said, shaking her head. Kurt smiled proudly.

"We'll see you in school tomorrow Rachel," Blaine said as he and Kurt kissed her on opposite cheeks.

"Cheer up babe, everything always looks better in the morning," said Mercedes, patting Rachel's cheek before she and the boys let themselves out.

About half an hour after they had left, Rachel cleaned up her supplies and headed for the shower. When she was clean, she was just trying to decide whether or not she was going to order sushi or vegetarian pizza when the phone rang. Rachel hurried into the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?"

She listened for a few minutes, and then uttered a gasp of horror and pain. She hung up and raced up the stairs to change out of her sweats into jeans and a tank top. She grabbed her purse and keys and shoved her feet into the first pair of shoes that she could find. She flew back down the stairs and headed to her car, only stopping to lock her door. She jumped into her car and drove as fast as she could without getting a speeding ticket to the hospital.

At school the next day, Rachel moved through the hallways like a zombie. She stopped at her locker after the bell rang signalling that it was her free period. She looked herself at the mirror she had hung in her locker at the beginning of the year. She shook her head and closed the door. Lauren walked by her locker.

"You all right there, Berry?" Rachel nodded tiredly.

"You don't look fine. You look like you didn't get a wink of sleep all night. And your clothes are all rumpled."

"I'm fine Lauren. Really, I just fell asleep in my clothes last night. I'll see you in Glee," Rachel said before she headed down the hall to the principal's office. Lauren nodded, but she watched Rachel as the smaller girl walked away down the hall. Puck came up beside her and watched too.

"What was that all about?" he asked. Lauren didn't miss the look on Puck's face.

"Rachel doesn't look very good. Look Puckerman, I'm not stupid. I see the way that you look at her. Which is why I'm making this easy for you, we're breaking up and you are going to reach out and take that girl."

"I can't," Puck said sadly.

"Why not? You like her don't you?"

"Yeah I like her, but I promised Hudson I would stay away from her until he was over her. I can't go back on my promise, not matter how much I might want to," Puck said, trying to ignore the many lances of pain that were currently stabbing at his heart. Lauren shook her head.

"You heard how Hudson was talking to Rachel in rehearsal on Friday. You really want her to go back to him? The boy who only gives a damn about his reputation and he puts himself before he puts others. And he's with Fabray now; they're running for Prom King and Queen, so what's stopping you? You care for her Puck. Sweep her off her feet. Find a way to show her how much you care," Lauren said as she walked away.

Puck stayed where he was. Lauren was right. He did care for Rachel. He wanted Rachel to be his, so badly. As for showing Rachel just how much he cared for her, he already had an idea. He headed off to find Rachel, Sam and Artie.

Sam and Artie were playing guitar in the auditorium when Puck came in.

"Hey Abrams, Evans. I need your guys' help," he said, climbing the stairs to the stage.

"What's up Puck?" Artie wanted to know.

"I need you guys to rehearse this song with me," Puck said, handing them the sheet music. Sam and Artie looked at it and nodded, it was a good song and Puck's voice was perfect for the vocals.

"I thought you were only sticking to Jewish artists," Artie said.

"I'm making an exception. I thought that if the four of us worked on it and then show it to Mr. Schue and the rest of the club and if they like it, we could use it for our set list at Nationals," Puck answered as he fitted his guitar strap over his shoulder.

"The four of us?" Sam asked.

"I'm gonna ask Rachel if she'd sing the female lead. I just have to find her first," Puck answered as he fiddled with his guitar pick.

"No you don't Noah," a soft voice came from the floor. The three boys jumped in surprise as Rachel climbed onto the stage.

"Sorry if I scared you guys. What were you hoping I would sing the female lead for Noah?" Rachel asked. Puck handed her the sheet music and watched as she flipped through it, reading through the words. A few seconds later she looked up at Noah and then at Sam and Artie.

"It's good. I like it. But I have to admit I haven't heard of this group before," she said, eyeing the band's name at the top of the first page.

"Let's run through the song and see what it sounds like," Artie said, wheeling himself over to his guitar.

Half an hour later, Rachel and the three boys were still in the auditorium.

"Are you all right, Rachel?" Sam asked as Rachel yawned.

"Yes, sorry. I'm just a bit sleepy. After Glee rehearsal this afternoon I'm going home and going to bed. Let's run the song again," she said as she went to move back to her place next to Noah.

"Rachel, if something's wrong, you can tell us. We're your friends," Artie said kindly, looking at Rachel with concerned eyes.

"I'm fine. Really I am. I just had a sleepless night. But thank you for your concern," Rachel said. She hesitated, then bent down and hugged Artie. He patted her on the back. Rachel straightened back up and opened her mouth to ask a question, but the bell rang for lunch just then. Rachel smiled at the boys and told them she'd see them in glee before leaving. Noah, Sam, and Artie left the auditorium together.

As they were walking along, Sam realized something.

"Puck, I don't think you want to use that song only for Nationals. You want to use it to get Rachel."

"I do not!" Puck protested. Artie and Sam looked at him with expressions that said _yeah right_.

"Okay I do. I care about her and I just want her to see that there are other fish in the sea besides Hudson," Puck confessed. Sam and Artie nodded and they continued walking to the cafeteria.

That afternoon in Glee club, Rachel was surprised when Sam, Artie, and Noah sat down next to her. Quinn walked in and saw them sitting together, hesitated, and then walked over and sat down next to Sam. Much to her embarrassment, Rachel yawned again.

"Rachel, would you like me to get you a coffee or something? Low-fat and dairy-free of course," Artie said.

"Yeah you look like you need one," Sam said. Rachel shook her head.

"No thanks, I'm all right," she said. While Sam, Artie, and Quinn were talking, Puck slipped Rachel an envelope.

"What's this?" she asked curiously, taking it from him.

"Something I wrote for you. But don't open it until you get home from rehearsal," Puck responded as he casually draped an arm over the back of Rachel's chair.

"Is it a love letter?" Rachel asked, half-expecting Puck to scoff and snort. He wasn't the kind of guy who wrote love letters for girls. To her surprise, he did neither of those things.

"Maybe," he said casually as he played with the ends of Rachel's hair. Just then, the rest of the Glee club and came in.

"Jeez man hands, what happened to you? Did you not even bother getting dressed for school this morning? Because quite honestly you look like someone who doesn't even care about what they look like," Santana sneered.

"Shut it, Satan!" Puck snapped.

"Yes, Santana, there's no need for cruel comments," Mr. Schue said, he was getting tired of all the fighting and drama between Rachel and Santana, though if he was being honest Santana had been the instigator more often than not lately. Then he turned his attention to Rachel who avoided looking at him.

"Rachel is there something wrong?" he asked in concern. Before Rachel could respond she was interrupted by Santana.

"She's probably worried she isn't going to get a solo at Nationals," the former cheerleader said in a bored tone as she examined her finger nails. Rachel stood up so quickly that she knocked her chair over. If this surprised her teammates and Mr. Schue, they were even more surprised by the tears pouring down Rachel's face.

"I am not worried that I'm not going to get a solo at Nationals! I'm upset; no I'm more than that. I'm angry and sad and confused!" Rachel shrieked, her hands turning into fists.

"Why?" asked Mercedes. She was quite surprised by Rachel's behaviour, but more than that she was worried that Rachel was going to fly at Santana and pummel her with her fists. Not that Santana didn't deserve it.

"Why? Because last night I got a phone call from my aunt telling me that they were at the hospital because my cousin Chaya took her own life last night!" Rachel said, taking a couple deep breaths to try and calm down. It failed as she crumpled to the ground, her entire body shaking with sobs. Save for Rachel's crying; the room was silent. Everyone was stunned.

Mr. Schue was the first to move. He knelt next to Rachel and carefully helped her to her feet. Rachel leaned into him, still crying. Mr. Schuester rubbed her back soothingly and rocked back and forth with her. He looked over at the Glee kids.

"Mike, could you go get Rachel some water please?" he requested. Mike nodded and hurried from the room, coming back a few minutes later with a water bottle. Rachel was sitting on her chair between Artie and Noah. Mike handed Rachel the water. Rachel gave him a watery smile.

"Thanks Mike," she said quietly. Mike nodded and patted Rachel on the top of her head.

After Rachel had taken a couple of sips of water, Mr. Schuester spoke.

"Rachel was there anyone at home with you yesterday when you got the phone call?" he asked gently. Rachel shook her head.

"No. My dads are out of town right now for work, so I'm staying home alone."

"Jeez, Rachel why didn't you call one of us?" Mercedes asked. Rachel shrugged.

"I'm so used to dealing with stuff on my own that it never crossed my mind to call one of you. And I guess because I felt like I couldn't rely on you guys to come and be there while I was waiting with my aunt and uncle. I thought none of you would care." Her words shocked everyone into silence again.

"I care. You should have called," Puck said. Rachel smiled sadly at him and gripped his hand tightly.

"How long were you at the hospital for?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. I lost track of time after the first half an hour. Everything else is a blur until the doctor came out and told us that they couldn't save my cousin and the cause of her death," Rachel admitted.

"What was it?" asked Tina, speaking for the first time since Rachel's outburst.

"Overdose of medication," Rachel answered.

"Do you know why she committed suicide?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Because she was getting bullied at school and because the boy that she liked didn't like her back," Rachel said.

"Well, at least she's in a better place now," Finn said. Half of the club groaned at the quarterback, and his lack of tactfulness. Slowly, Rachel turned on him.

"Is that what you think? That she's better off dead instead of being alive?" she asked coldly.

"Well, she wasn't happy, Rachel," Finn said.

"But she could have been! She could have come and told me and I would have helped her. I'm not going to lie, I've considered suicide a few times because there have been days that I can't take the bull that people have been throwing at me for the last two years, but I've never done it because I know that if I did, I wouldn't get to come back! I have so many dreams. My cousin did too, but now she won't get to live them! All because of some stupid kids who thought it was fun to torment her and see her cry!" She turned back around, and without knowing how she got there, ended up on Puck's lap. He patted her on the back gently.

After a few more minutes, Rachel lifted her head from Puck's shoulder. His shirt had been stained by salty tears. She turned to face Mr. Schuester.

"I only came to school today to get my homework and assignments for the rest of the week. Principal Figgins is aware of the situation and he knows I won't be attending school for the remainder of the week. I just came to glee to tell you and let you know I wouldn't be attending practice," Rachel said quietly before she gathered her things and left the silent choir room.

 **Author's Note: Sorry for the angsty chapter. The suicide thing came from one of my experiences. I was also bullied in high school; well actually I was bullied from kindergarten to the end of Grade 11.**

 **Puckleberry lovin'!**

 **Reviews=Love**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Guys. Here it is. Chapter 3. Enjoy!**

Rachel went home after school and made herself a cup of tea. While she drank it, she flipped through her iTunes library to look for a song she could sing in glee club as a final farewell to Chaya. Finally she found one that fit the situation perfectly. She pulled the folder that she kept her sheet music in out of her backpack and proceeded to locate the sheet music online and then printed it off. After placing the music in the B section, she looked at the song that she was going to perform with Artie, Sam, and Noah.

 _Noah's letter._ Rachel dove back into her backpack and retrieved the letter that Noah had given to her in Glee rehearsal. With trembling fingers, she opened the envelope. She pulled out the letter, unfolded it and started to read.

 _Rachel,_

 _I'm not really good with feelings or words, but I'm going to try my hardest to explain to you how much I care. So, here goes._

 _I was never really going to break up with you that day on the bleachers, as you said. When I'm with you, I can just be Noah, and that's enough. I don't have to pretend to be the tough guy that everyone at school thinks I am. I don't regret making out with you when you and Hudson had your falling-out, because honestly, your lips are the softest and sweetest I've ever tasted._

 _I want your lips, Rachel. I want your sweet kisses, but I don't want them for revenge. I want you to be mine, completely. I want the happy, confident, bouncy girl that you were before you and Hudson started dating. You weren't her after you guys got together. You turned into somebody that I didn't recognize._

 _I want to be the guy who wipes your tears away, the one who makes you happy and makes you laugh. Let me be the one that holds you when you are falling apart. Let me take care of you and be strong for you when you need someone to hold you up. You have a pretty big piece of my heart, Rachel, but I want to give you the whole thing. I'm done with girls who only want me because I'm a stud. I want someone that wants me for me. You're that girl, Rachel. I can't, and don't want to live without you. I've heard that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you._

 _So what do you say my hot little Jewish American Princess? Will you be mine? I'll give you everything that you could ever want, because you deserve it._

 _Xoxoxo, Noah._

Rachel stared at the letter. Then she read it three more times. Every time that she read it, her heart expanded. Noah wanted her. She wanted to be wanted. She could hardly wait to give Noah her answer. She hopped off of her bed and headed down the stairs to make dinner for herself. She was standing in the kitchen and was about to start going through the fridge to try and find some leftovers when there was a knock on the door. Rachel opened it to find Quinn, Brittany, Sam, Sam's younger brother Stevie and his younger sister Stacey, Mercedes, Tina and Mike, Artie, Lauren, Kurt, Blaine, and Noah. Rachel smiled.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked.

Before anyone could answer, Stacey said "Rachel, pick me up, pick me up!" Rachel bent down to pick up the little girl, who threw her arms around Rachel's neck and wrapped her legs around Rachel's waist.

"Well, we figured that you shouldn't be home alone since you're going through a rough time right now. So we picked up dinner and then headed over," Sam said, smiling as he watched his little sister with Rachel.

"Stacey! I wanna hug Rachel too!" Stevie said to his sister. Giggling, Stacey let go of Rachel and Rachel set her back down on the ground. Stevie hurried forward and gave Rachel a bear hug. Rachel's eyes nearly popped out of her head he hugged her so hard.

"Stevie, I appreciate your bear hug, but could you please loosen your grip a little bit, I'm finding it a bit difficult to breathe," Rachel managed to squeak out.

"Sorry Rachel," Stevie apologized as he released her.

"That's all right. Do you guys want to watch TV or play on the Wii?" Rachel offered.

"No, that's okay," Stacey said. Rachel nodded.

"Well, um, I guess we could go sit down in the living room, unless you guys want to eat right away," she said awkwardly, pulling at her sleeves.

"No, that's okay. I'll just put the food in the kitchen," Quinn said. Rachel nodded and led everyone else into the living room. Stacey and Stevie looked around curiously.

"I like your house, Rachel. It's very pretty," Stacey said.

"Thank you," Rachel said, smiling. Stevie sat on Artie's lap, but Stacey wandered around the living room, looking at all the pictures and ornaments that the Berries' had in their living room. She stopped at the piano and gazed at it. Rachel was watching her.

"Do you play piano, Stacey?" she asked. Stacey shook her head.

"No. Sam says you're a really good singer Rachel. He says that you want to be on Broadway. What's Broadway?"

"Um, it's where people sing and act and dance," Rachel responded.

"Oh. Would you sing for us after dinner?" Stacey asked eagerly.

"Um, you've heard me sing before Stacey," Rachel pointed out.

"Yeah, but only in a group, we haven't heard you sing by yourself. Please Rachel, please?" Stevie asked.

"Um, all right, I guess I could."

"YAY!" squealed Stacey and Stevie. Stacey bounded over and crawled onto Rachel's lap. Sam smiled as he watched his younger sister settle in and hug Rachel hard around the waist.

"Hey, Stevie, Stacey, don't you guys have something you want to give Rachel?" he reminded them gently.

"Oh yeah," Stevie and Stacey said. They scrambled out of the living room and came back with two envelopes. They handed them to Rachel.

"What are these?" Rachel asked.

"Open them and see," Stacey said.

Rachel opened Stacey's curiously. _Dear Rachel, I was very sorry to hear about your cousin. I hope you feel better soon. 3 Your friend Stacey._ Rachel looked up at Stacey with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Stacey, that's very sweet."

"Open mine," Stevie insisted.

"Okay" Rachel said as she opened the envelope and read the card inside. _Hey Rachel, I'm sorry about your cousin. You are a really cool person and I'm super glad I met you. You Rock! Stevie._

Rachel blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill over. Stacey climbed onto her lap again and wrapped her arms around Rachel.

"Please don't cry, Rachel. It makes me sad when my friends are sad." Rachel smiled at the little girl.

"I'm okay Stacey. I'm just very touched that you and Stevie made cards for me."

"It was Sammy's idea." Stacey explained. Rachel looked at Sam over Stacey's head.

"Thanks Sam," she said.

"No problem, I'm sure you would have done the same for me," Sam said.

"Absolutely," Rachel said. Meanwhile, Stevie had been looking at the Berries' DVD collection. One DVD in particular had caught his attention.

"Rachel, what's this DVD?" he asked.

"Which one, Stevie? Bring it over," Rachel said. Stevie carefully pulled the DVD off the shelf and brought it over to Rachel.

She looked at it and said "It's _The Lion King_ on Broadway." Stacey and Stevie looked at her with wide eyes.

" _The Lion King_ is on Broadway?" Stacey asked.

"Stacey, lots of Disney movies are on Broadway. Like _The Little Mermaid_ and _Aladdin._ " Quinn told her.

"Oh. Do you have more Disney movies that are on Broadway Rachel?" asked Stacey.

"No, I don't. Not at the moment anyway. Why don't we eat dinner? Are you guys' hungry?" Rachel asked the room at large. Everyone nodded.

"Okay, um we can eat at the dining room table." Rachel said.

"Dinner has to be heated up" Tina said.

"Okay, what are we having for dinner anyways?" Rachel asked as everyone headed to the kitchen.

"Chinese food, and yes we got vegetarian dishes." Puck said.

"What's a vegetarian?" Stacey asked.

"It's someone that doesn't eat meat. I'm Jewish and Puck is too," Rachel explained.

"Are you a vegetarian too, Puck?" Stevie asked as Rachel handed him and Stacey plates and cutlery and she and Puck headed into the dining room with them.

"Nope, I eat meat. It's too good to pass up. Jews aren't supposed to have bacon though."

"Really, how come?" Stacey asked.

"It goes against our religion and we also get acid reflux if we eat it," Rachel said.

"What's acid reflux?" Stevie asked.

"Heartburn," replied Rachel.

"Does that mean your heart gets set on fire?" Stacey asked as the rest of the Gleeks came in carrying the hot dishes of food and set them on the table.

"Pretty much, but Rachel here just likes to eat rabbit food," Puck said, sliding his arm around Rachel's waist.

"I think Rachel would be a very cute bunny," Stacey said as they all sat down at the table.

"She would be wouldn't she? All the male bunnies would be hopping over themselves to have bunny cuddles and bunny kisses with her," Puck said.

Rachel shook her head and everyone laughed. They served themselves Chinese food and for a few minutes there was nothing but the scraping of forks and knives on plates and chewing.

Then out of the blue, Stacey asked "Puck, do you want to have bunny cuddles and bunny kisses with Rachel?"

Rachel choked on her water, while the Gleeks tried to stifle their laughter and Stacey and Stevie looked expectantly at Puck. He played it cool.

"Yeah, except neither of us are bunnies. But I wouldn't mind the cuddles and kisses," he said as he sent Rachel a wink.

"Kiss her right now then," Stevie said. Rachel's face turned pink.

"Stevie it's not really proper table etiquette to kiss someone in front of other people" she said.

"Oh."

Rachel wiped her hands on her napkin, and said "Are you guys ready for dessert?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed Stacey and Stevie. Rachel nodded and began to clear the table. She headed into the kitchen with a bunch of dirty dishes and was loading them into the dishwasher when she heard someone come into the kitchen behind her. She turned to look and saw Quinn and Brittany coming into the kitchen with more dishes.

"Embarrassed, Rachel?" Quinn asked.

"A little, I kind of understand now what it's like to have younger siblings" said Rachel, smiling faintly.

"They aren't trying to embarrass you, they are just trying to cheer you up," Quinn said as she put more dishes into the dishwasher.

"Rachel, you could get a pet bunny or a sexy bunny costume and then you would kind of be like a bunny," Brittany suggested.

Rachel and Quinn looked at Brittany.

"What?" asked Brittany. Rachel and Quinn shook their heads. After having dessert, which was apple pie, the group retired to the living room. After about half an hour, Stacey burst out "Rachel, will you sing for us now, please?" Rachel nodded and stood up. She walked over to the piano bench where she kept her sheet music. She found a song that she knew Stacey and Stevie would know, and then looked over at the group.

"Noah, would you come and sing this with me, and Kurt, would you play the piano for us?" she asked. Kurt and Noah nodded and walked over to join Rachel at the piano. Rachel handed Kurt the song she had chosen.

He sat down at piano and said "Ready when you are." Puck and Rachel nodded and Kurt began to play.

( **Puck.** __ _Rachel._ _ **Both.**_ )

 **I can show you the world  
Shining, shimmering, splendid  
Tell me, princess, now when did  
you last let your heart decide**

 **I can open your eyes  
Take you wonder by wonder  
Over, sideways, and under  
On a magic carpet ride  
**

**A whole new world  
A new fantastic point of view  
No one to tell us no  
Or where to go  
Or say we're only dreaming** __

 _A whole new world  
A dazzling place I never knew  
But when I'm way up here  
It's crystal clear  
That now I'm in a whole new world  
With you_ _  
_

**Now I'm in a whole new world with you**

 _Unbelievable sights  
Indescribable feeling  
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
Through an endless diamond sky_ __

 _A whole new world_ _  
_ **Don't you dare close your eyes** **  
** _A hundred thousand things to see_ _  
_ **Hold your breath- it gets better** _  
_ _I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far I can't go back to where I used to be  
Every turn a surprise_ _  
_ **A whole new world  
With new horizons to pursue** _  
_ _Every moment gets better_ _  
_ _ **I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare, let me share this whole new world with you  
**_ __

 _A whole new world_ _  
_ **A whole new world** _  
_ **That's where we'll be** _  
_ _That's where we'll be_ _  
_ _A thrilling change_ _  
_ **A wondrous place** _  
_ _ **For you and me**_

When they had finished singing, Puck and Rachel were facing each other and Puck was holding Rachel's tiny hands in his big ones and they were staring at each other. It was exactly like they were in their own world, just as they had been when they had sung ' _Need You Now'_. The rest of the group was watching and waiting to see what would happen. To their disappointment, nothing did. Rachel let go of Puck's hands and turned to Stacey and Stevie.

"So, you guys? What did you think?" she asked. Stacey was staring at Rachel with big eyes. The entire time Puck and Rachel had been singing, she had been absolutely transfixed by the two of them.

"I thought it was beautiful. I felt like I was actually watching Jasmine and Aladdin the entire time," Stacey said. Stevie nodded.

Kurt stood up and walked back to his seat next to Blaine. Puck sat down in the armchair while Rachel remained by the piano. Stacey stood up, scurried to Rachel, and tugged her over to the piano bench.

"Will you teach me something?" she asked Rachel. Rachel hesitated and looked over at the Glee kids. Mercedes nodded at her encouragingly and the other Glee kids gave her signs of encouragement.

"Sure, Stacey," Rachel said, smiling. They sat down at the piano bench and Rachel began to teach Stacey how to play the piece that Puck and Rachel had just sang while the Glee kids and Stevie watched.

All of a sudden, Rachel's memories of her cousin surged forward unbidden.

"Rachel?" Stacey asked worriedly. Even though she was only a little girl, Stacey understood that something was wrong. The Gleeks and Stevie looked up. Rachel was sitting at the piano with Stacey and she was biting her lips to keep from crying. She stood up from the piano bench and then looked down at Stacey.

"I'm sorry, Stacey. I don't think I can play the piano anymore tonight," she said regretfully.

"That's okay, Rachel, we need to get going anyways. Stacey, Stevie, time to go," Sam said as he stood up. He hugged Rachel goodbye and then left with his brother and sister. One by one, the other Glee kids took their leave.

They all hugged Rachel and told her they would see her in a week. Finally only Puck remained.

"Rachel would you like me to stay here with you tonight?" he asked gently. Rachel nodded.

"Okay. I didn't want you to stay on your own. Do you need anything?" Noah asked. Rachel bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

"Can I have a hug?" she asked. Noah nodded and pulled her into his arms.

 **Author's Note: Well, what did you guys think? Of the duet between Puck and Rachel? Of the chapter itself? I thought it would be good if I added Stacey and Stevie into this chapter, because in my humble opinion, sometimes little kids are the masters at lifting the mood and cheering everyone up. Wouldn't you guys agree?**

 **PUCKLEBERRY FANS UNITE!**

 **Reviews=Love**


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Noah quietly dressed for school in the spare room he'd slept in the night before. Tiptoeing to Rachel's bedroom, he carefully pushed open the door and peered inside. Rachel was fast asleep and had her arms wrapped around a stuffed bear. Noah quietly closed the door behind him and headed down the stairs where he picked up his backpack and pulled a folded piece of paper out of the front pocket. He placed the note on the counter in the kitchen where he knew Rachel would find it and looked around to make sure everything was in order before leaving for the day.

Luckily his first period was free period so he drove home to change clothes. Maggie Puckerman was waiting for him on the front porch when he pulled into his driveway. As he shut the truck off his mother came hurrying down the steps and pulled open the truck door.

"Noah! Oh my goodness, what in the world happened? Thank you for texting me last night and saying you were staying at Rachel's, I appreciate that, but what's going on?" Maggie rambled as Noah climbed out of his truck.

"Whoa, Ma! Slow down, I'll answer your questions I promise. Let's go inside," Noah said as he climbed down from the cab and closed the door behind him. Putting an arm around his mother, he led her into the house and set his backpack on the floor.

"I'll be right back, I just want to get changed," he said. Maggie nodded and headed into the kitchen to make breakfast and coffee for her son. Noah darted up the stairs and into his bedroom. Quickly getting changed, he threw his clothes from the day before into the hamper before heading back downstairs. His mother was sitting at the table with two mugs of coffee and a plate of latkes and challah in front of her. She pushed the second coffee cup towards her son, who took it gratefully and took a big swallow, the jolt of the caffeine sending a welcome alert through his body. He set the mug down as he looked at his mother.

"Mom, the reason I stayed with Rachel last night is because her cousin took her own life on Sunday," he said in a rush. Maggie clapped her hands over her mouth.

"Oh my heavens, Noah, how awful! Are Hiram and Leroy home yet from their trip?" she asked. Noah shook his head as he took a latke and a piece of challah from the platter in the center of the table.

"No, and I was wondering if you would mind if I stayed with Rachel until they came back? I just don't feel right letting her be there by herself especially at night," Noah admitted. Maggie nodded.

"Of course, sweetheart. Is Rachel at home right now?" Noah nodded as he cut off a piece of latke and popped it in his mouth.

"Yeah, she told Mr. Schue and Principal Figgins yesterday that she was taking the rest of the week off. Mr. Schue and most of the club understand, but there are a few who don't," Noah replied as he thought back to the previous day.

FLASHBACK:

 _As Rachel left the choir room, there was only silence. Then everyone started talking at once._

" _I can't believe Rachel would do this now, we have Nationals in a month. How are we supposed to practice without her?" Finn asked. At his question the room quietened while most of the members gave him a disbelieving look._

" _Get over yourself, Hudson! Did you not hear a single word that that poor girl just said?! She's just lost her cousin and all you can think about is a singing competition? It's actually way better for Rach to take time off now, to let herself process and grieve, than it would be a couple of weeks from now," Mercedes said angrily._

" _Mercedes is right. I know Rachel and I haven't always gotten along but we've agreed to put the past behind us and start over. We're a team, and Rachel is really going to need us both now and after her cousin has been laid to rest. I think we should pick up dinner and go over to her house," said Quinn. Everyone nodded in agreement except Santana and Finn._

" _I'm not helping Man hands," Santana said flatly._

" _Fine, don't come. You and your heart of stone can stay away. From Rachel, from me, and from anyone who actually does care about Rachel," Puck snapped as he got to his feet and left the room. One by one the rest of New Directions followed him, until just Mr. Schuester, Finn, and Santana were left._

" _You know you two, you keep acting this way and you're not going to have any friends left before long. Santana, I know you and Rachel don't get along, but you keep on tormenting her and ridiculing her and I will have no choice but to ask that you leave New Directions. The same goes for you Finn," Mr Schuester warned them before also leaving the choir room._

END FLASHBACK.

"Oh dear," said Maggie sadly as her son finished telling her what had happened the day before. She couldn't think of anything else to say. Noah nodded and glanced at the clock.

"I better get going, Ma. I'll see you later. I'll be back after school to pack a bag," he said as he stood up with his dishes in his hands.

"Leave those, Noah. You go on to school. I'll try and go see Rachel today. Take her some challah and honey," Maggie said as she took the dishes from her son and set them down. Taking him into her arms she held him tightly.

"I'm proud of the man you're becoming," she whispered before releasing Noah. He smiled at her and squeezed her hands.

"Thanks Mom," he said. Maggie followed him to the door as he picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulders. Heading down the steps he climbed back into his truck and started it up. He waved at his mother who was standing on the porch again. She waved back, then turned and went back into the house as he pulled away.

When Rachel woke up, her house was quiet. Glancing over at her alarm clock, she saw that it was 8:45. She yawned as she swung her legs out of bed and padded down the stairs and into the kitchen. As she made her protein shake, she spotted a folded piece of paper on the counter. Picking it up, she unfolded it and started to read.

 _Morning beautiful girl,_

 _I hope you slept well. I'm sorry I can't stay with you all day but I have to make sure we both stay on top of our school stuff. Just call or text if you need me and I'll come._

 _Noah._

It was short, but Rachel appreciated the fact that Noah was looking out for her. She finished fixing her smoothie and drank it, then decided to head back to bed for awhile longer. As she climbed back under the covers, she received a text from her aunt telling her that Chaya's funeral would be that afternoon. Quickly typing back a reply, she chose to forgo her original plan and headed for the shower. _I don't know how I'm going to survive this afternoon_ she thought as she stepped beneath the water and lifted her face to the spray, the warm water mixing with her tears.

Meanwhile Noah had arrived at school and was getting his books out of his locker when Brittany and Tina approached him.

"Hi Puck, no Rachel today?" asked Brittany as the three set off down the hallway.

"No Britt, she told us she wasn't coming to school for the rest of the week, remember?" Puck said patiently as they dropped Tina off at her English class and the two of them continued to Spanish.

"Oh right. I hope she's okay. I like Rachel and I feel so bad for her," Brittany said sadly as they sat down at the table they shared. Noah nodded and turned his attention to Mr. Schuester, who walked around collecting the previous day's homework. He paused at Noah and Brittany's table and bent down to speak to Noah, quietly so the rest of the class couldn't hear.

"Come and see me at the end of class and I'll give you Rachel's homework," he said. Noah nodded and handed Mr. Schue his homework from the previous day. For the next fifty minutes he did his best to pay attention to the lesson, but his thoughts kept wandering to Rachel. Finally the bell rang and Puck stood, gathering his books and papers. After telling Brittany he'd see her later, he waited until she and the rest of the class had left before walking up to 's desk.

"Thanks for doing this, Mr. Schuester," Noah said. Mr. Schuester clapped him on the shoulder.

"No worries Puck, I'm sure Rachel will appreciate you doing this for her. How's she doing?" Will asked concernedly. Noah shrugged.

"As well as can be expected, I guess. She was still asleep when I left her house this morning," Noah said. Mr. Schue nodded. He didn't seem at all surprised that Noah had stayed at Rachel's house the previous night.

"You better get going, Puck. Don't be late for your next class," said Mr. Schue. Noah nodded and left the classroom. Arriving at his locker he switched out his Spanish books for his History ones. Closing the locker, he turned and came face to face with Santana.

"Before you start, Lopez, I don't want to hear one word out of your mouth if it's about Rachel. She's going through a tough time right now and the last thing she needs is for your bitchy comments," Puck warned. Santana gave him a nasty smile, but glowered as Puck's phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket to look at a text from Rachel.

 **Chaya's funeral is this afternoon at 4. Will you be here then?** Puck typed **yes** back and sent the message. Quickly typing one out to his mother he looked up at Santana, who was still standing in front of him.

"What's going on?" she asked, genuine curiosity in her voice. Noah shook his head

"Nothing, I need to get to class," he responded. Santana eyed him suspiciously.

"Whatever Puckerman, you'll wake up eventually. And when you do you'll realize you can do better than Rachel Berry," she said scornfully before she flounced off. Noah shook his head and headed to class.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur and before Noah knew it was time to head home. He'd asked the rest of his teammates who were juniors to collect Rachel's homework from the classes that he didn't share with her. Quinn approached him with several neatly organized folders in her hands.

"That's all of her homework, Puck," she said as she handed them over. Noah nodded at her in thanks as he took them.

"There were no problems with the teachers for getting the homework?" he asked. Quinn shook her head.

"No, Mr. Schue and Principal Figgins called a meeting this morning with Rachel's teachers and told them what was going on. Have you heard from Rachel at all?" Quinn asked as she and Noah exited the front doors of the building. Noah nodded.

"Yeah, I'm heading back to her place now, just have to stop at home and pack a bag. I went there this morning during free period to tell my ma what was going on and she gave me permission to stay with Rachel until her dads come back," Puck answered as they reached his truck. Quinn smiled sadly.

"Give her a hug from me, will you? And tell her I'll come and visit her one day later this week," said Quinn.

"I will, thanks for your help today, Quinn. I appreciate it," said Noah. She nodded and waved before heading to her own car. Noah unlocked his truck and swung himself in behind the wheel. Starting the truck up, he glanced around to make sure there was no one coming before he backed out of the parking spot and drove home.

Ten minutes later he was pulling into the Berries' driveway. Putting the truck in park he gathered his schoolwork and Rachel's and his duffel bag before getting out and locking the truck. Walking up to the front door, he unlocked it with the key the Berry men had given him and his mother years before.

"Rachel?" he called quietly as he entered the house and shut and locked the door behind him.

"I'm in the kitchen, Noah," she called back. Noah set his load down and walked into the kitchen to see Rachel wearing a black dress and low heels, stirring a mug of tea. Noah walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She set the mug down before twining her arms around his neck and resting her head on his chest. She breathed in his scent, soap and sweat and the musky cologne he favored.

"Have you eaten?" Noah asked as they drew apart, though they still kept their arms around each other. Rachel nodded and picked up her tea.

"I had a smoothie for breakfast and some salad for lunch," she responded. Noah nodded and guided her out of the kitchen and into the living room. They settled on the couch, Noah wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she raised her mug to her mouth.

"Gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't ask if you wanted a beverage," Rachel said, chastising herself silently for her lack of manners. She made to get up but Noah kept her sitting on the couch.

"I don't need anything Rach, just sit here and drink your tea, okay?" Rachel nodded silently and stayed snuggled beside him. Noah gently rubbed small circles with his thumb against her bare arm.

"How was school today?" Rachel wanted to know as she finished her tea and set the mug on the coffee table. Noah shrugged.

"It was fine. Quinn told me that Principal Figgins and Mr. Schuester called a meeting first thing this morning with all your teachers. They know what's going on so you don't need to worry about your classes. The rest of the club all pitched in and helped get your homework for today," Noah told her. Rachel nodded as she glanced at the clock.

"It's 3:25, I should go," she said as she stood up. Only then did she notice what Noah was wearing. Her lips parted in surprise as she took in his tie, gray dress shirt and black slacks. Noah smiled gently and stood up, taking her hands in his.

"You didn't think I was going to let you do this alone, did you? I may have only met Chaya couple of times when we were together but I always liked her. I want to come with you and pay my respects to her and, be there for you in any way I can," he said awkwardly. Rachel looked at him, biting her lips as she tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Noah, I-I. . ." she tried to say. Noah shook his head at her and gently brushed her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. Gently he guided her to the closet in the entry way and pulled one of her jackets off the hangers. Holding it open for her, he helped her slide her arms into the sleeves. Once she had buttoned her coat closed, she took the arm Noah was offering her and the two of them made their way out of the Berry residence, only stopping to lock up before heading to Noah's truck.

Rachel looked over at Noah as he pulled out of her driveway and slid over the bench seat towards him. Without a word Noah took one of his hands off the steering wheel and rested it, palm up, on his thigh. Rachel placed her hand in his and he laced their fingers together. They stayed like that the whole drive to the temple where people were starting to walk in.

 **Author's Note: I wish that they would've put Puck and Rachel together for real on the show. I think that the comments on the Puckleberry or Puck and Rachel relationship page on .com are accurate, even to this day. I have to admit I'm much happier with this chapter than I was with the old one. When I went back through and read the story through again it made me cringe.**

 **Love me some Puckleberry!**

 **If you guys are looking for some good Puckleberry fics, check out my favourite authors and stories pages.**

 **Reviews=Love**


	5. Chapter 5

Noah glanced over at Rachel as they exited the cemetery; she had been silent and her face like stone the duration of the service. When everyone had stood for Chaya's casket to be carried out of the temple, Rachel had reached for Noah's hand and held on tightly as she watched her cousin be carried out. As they and the other mourners walked to the cemetery where Chaya's final resting place would be, Noah had looked over to see tears in Rachel's eyes and drawn her closer to him.

When they lowered the casket into the ground, Rachel's face had contorted, like she was about to begin screaming or crying hysterically and she held on to Noah's hand tighter than ever. As the rabbi finished the graveside ceremony, Rachel looked up at Noah and her eyes were full of tears. They followed Rachel's aunt and uncle out of the cemetery to the parking lot. Rachel's Aunt Sarah wiped tears from her eyes and took in her niece who hadn't spoken a word since the brief hello they had shared before the service. Rachel looked down at her feet and bit her lips. She felt a gentle hand slip beneath her chin and tenderly tilt her head up.

"I can see what you're feeling Rachel. Don't put your show face on for us, darling," Sarah said gently. Rachel's face tightened and when she spoke her voice was thick with emotion.

"I should have been able to save her. If I'd done more, maybe she'd still be here. I should have confronted those kids and told them to stop," Rachel said, her voice shaking. Her Uncle James shook his head, tears in his own eyes.

"You did so much to help her, Rachel. Chaya is, _was_ , always so grateful for the time you two spent together. You were her best friend and she loved you so much," James said kindly. Rachel shook her head and swallowed hard. Noah put an arm around her, silently showing his support. Sarah and James turned their attention to him.

"Thank you for coming today, Noah, it means a lot," said Sarah. Noah nodded at her and hugged Rachel tighter against his side.

"I wanted to come. Chaya was a great girl and I'm only sorry I didn't get to know her better," Noah said honestly, the words that had been running around his head throughout the service finally making their appearance. Sarah smiled sadly and took her husband's hand. Rachel looked at her aunt and uncle, and stepped out from Noah's arm to engulf her aunt and uncle in a hug.

"We love you sweetheart. Why don't you go home and lay down, you've had a rough couple of days," said Sarah gently. Rachel nodded hesitantly.

"So have you, you guys need your rest too. And I want to come to your house for the Shiva," she said, even though she privately didn't want to go. She wasn't in the mood to listen to people she barely knew tell her how sorry they were about their cousin and how great she was. _They didn't know her like I did. They didn't know about her hopes and dreams, or that she wanted to be a nurse so that she could help people. Something she'll never get to be now_ she thought bitterly.

"Rachel, it's okay. It is. Go home and rest and we'll see you later darling," said James in a gentle but firm tone that brooked no argument. Rachel nodded dejectedly and after saying goodbye to her aunt and uncle; she let Noah guide her to his truck. Opening the passenger side door, he helped Rachel into her seat before closing the door and hurrying around to the driver's side.

As he got into the driver's seat, he noticed Rachel was sitting in the middle seat next to his. She barely waited for him to buckle his seatbelt before snuggling into his side. Noah started the truck and pulled out of the parking spot. During the short drive from their temple to the Berries' house, Noah kept looking down at the girl curled into his side. She'd barely said a word all afternoon, except for the two sentences she'd spoken to her aunt and uncle, and frankly it was starting to worry him. Screw that, it was starting to scare him, a lot. In all the time he'd known Rachel Berry, he'd never heard her stay silent for this long. He turned into the Berries' driveway and shut off the truck. Rachel sighed and gripped his hand. Silently, he helped her out of the truck and up the steps to the front porch, where he took her key ring from her and let them into the house, closing the door behind the two of them.

Rachel slid her arms out of her coat and hung it carefully in the hall closet. She turned to look at Noah who was standing with his hands in his pockets.

"You still have your kippah on," she said quietly, pointing at the skullcap on top of his head. Noah reached up and felt the skullcap he'd placed on his head before entering the synagogue. Carefully he took it off and placed it in his pocket. Rachel watched him and folded her arms across her chest and started to turn towards the kitchen, but she was stopped by a gentle hand on her arm. Turning back, she looked into Noah's concerned hazel eyes.

"Rach," he said softly. That was all it took. Rachel's face crumpled and she started to sob, uncontrollably. Noah pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, feeling tears prick his own eyes as Rachel's sobs shook her small frame, leaving her to tremble in his arms.

"She's gone, Noah, she's really gone! I've been hoping that it was all just a bad dream and I would wake up when we got to temple and I would see her standing there with her beautiful smile and ready to sing and play her heart out. But it's not! She's dead and it took seeing that-that- that casket being lowered into the ground for me to realize that! She's dead and all I have left now is her memory and her voice in my head!" Rachel's voice rose to a wail and she sobbed harder than ever.

Noah's throat constricted as he felt Rachel's body sag into his arms and start to sink to the floor, pulling him down with her. Noah settled her on his lap and let her cry into his shoulder, feeling her tears soak his suit jacket. How long they sat there he didn't know, her sobbing as though there was no tomorrow and him rubbing slow, soothing circles on her back. He wondered what the McKinley student population would think if they saw him now, sitting on Rachel Berry's floor with her as she cried like she would never stop, both of them in their church clothes.

After some time, Rachel's sobs quietened but Noah kept his arms around her; gently rocking her as she kept her head buried in his shoulder. Finally, Rachel pulled back to look at him, her makeup streaking her face. Noah made a sound in the back of his throat and took one hand from Rachel's back. He lifted his hand and gently brushed at the tearstained face with the pad of his thumb.

"Why don't you go have a shower and get changed and I'll figure something out for dinner," he suggested. Rachel nodded and slid off his lap so Noah could stand up. He stood and reached a hand down to gently pull Rachel to her feet. Softly, sweetly, he brushed his lips against her forehead before releasing her. Rachel gave him a watery smile and made her way up the stairs.

Noah sighed and picked up his duffel bag he had packed at home earlier in the afternoon and went into the downstairs bathroom to change. Quickly changing into a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants, he left the bathroom and placed his bag off to the side of the stairs. His phone buzzed where he'd left it on the hall table. Crossing the hall to pick it up, he saw he had two text messages, one from his mother asking him to call her and the other from Quinn asking how Rachel was. He slid the screen out and typed back a response to Quinn: **She's alright. In the shower right now.** He sent the text and then dialed his mother's cell number. She answered quickly.

"Hi Noah, I was just calling to check in. I saw you and Rachel at temple but I didn't get to talk to you before or after the service," Maggie said as she sat at the dining room table, a mug of warm tea in front of her. Noah sighed, rubbing a hand over his Mohawk.

"Things are as well as can be expected, I guess. Well, actually that's not true," he said, and proceeded to tell his Mom of the afternoon's events. Maggie was silent when Noah finished.

"And where is Rachel now, Noah?" Maggie asked as he walked into the living room and settled on the couch.

"I sent her upstairs to have a shower and get changed. Mom it was terrifying, the way she cried. It was like she was having her heart ripped out of her body. I didn't know what to do or say," Noah confessed.

"Well, I imagine that you just being there with her is enough for now. I didn't make it over there today before you texted me to let me know the details of Chaya's service and I have to work a double tomorrow, but I'll try and make it over there either Thursday or Friday, okay?" Noah blew out a breath before he answered.

"Okay, Ma. Just let me know when you're planning on coming so I can tell Rachel. I'd better go but I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" Noah said.

"Alright sweetheart, I'll talk to you tomorrow then," said Maggie before disconnecting the call. Noah set the phone on the coffee table, and drummed his fingers against his thigh, thinking. _I should go check on Rach; it's been awhile since she went upstairs_ he thought. He stood up and started towards the stairs, slowing as he heard soft footfalls in the hallway. A moment later, Rachel appeared at the top of the stairs. She had pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a purple hoodie, her hair pulled into a loose braid. Noah stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching her descend.

"Did you figure something out for dinner?" she asked as she climbed down the last couple of stairs.

"Uh no, my mom and Quinn texted asking how you were. What do you feel like?" Noah asked.

"Oh. I'm, um, I'm not really that hungry, I don't have much of an appetite," Rachel admitted. Noah shook his head and drew her into his arms.

"You have to eat something, Rach. Please? How about pancakes?" he asked. Rachel nodded, seeing anything she said wasn't going to sway Noah. Noah released but kept a hold on her hand as he led her into the kitchen. He settled her on one of the stool surrounding the island and started finding things to prepare for dinner. Rachel watched him move around the kitchen for a few minutes, and then she spoke.

"I guess we should do our homework at some point tonight, huh?" she said softly. Noah nodded.

"We can do it after we eat," he said as he mixed the vegan pancake mix he'd found in the cupboard. Rachel nodded absentmindedly as she played with her sleeves. Fifteen minutes later, Noah slid a plate of pancakes in front of her before coming around the island and sitting next to her with his own.

"These aren't half-bad," he said after he took his first bite. Rachel smiled around her own mouthful of pancake.

"Yeah, they're alright. Thank you for cooking, I appreciate it. You've done nothing but take care of me the last two days," Rachel said softly. Noah nodded at her as they kept eating. He wanted to know if Rachel had read his letter, but he knew it wasn't the right time to ask her.

A few minutes later, they'd finished their pancakes and cleaned up the kitchen. Noah picked up his backpack from where he'd left it earlier in the afternoon and sorted his homework and Rachel's into two separate piles. Thankfully neither of them had much homework so they were both done in under an hour. Noah gathered his and Rachel's papers and sorted them into neat piles, placing them into his backpack for the next day. Rachel glanced at the clock and yawned. It was only quarter to eight but she felt exhausted.

"Why don't you go to bed? You look dead on your feet," said Noah gently. Rachel yawned and nodded.

"Okay. Feel free to watch Sportsnet or ESPN if you want. Noah . . . thanks for everything," she said softly.

"You're welcome, Rach. Anytime," Noah said. Rachel smiled at him and then leaned up on her toes to give him a soft peck on the cheek.

"Good night, Rach."

"Good night, Noah," said Rachel before she headed up the stairs. Noah nodded and then sighed. He didn't feel like watching TV, he was tired himself and just wanted to sleep. Shutting off the lights in the kitchen, he made sure the doors and windows were locked before picking up his duffel bag and shutting off the rest of the lights before making his way upstairs and retiring for the night.

Sometime in the night, Noah woke with a start. He could hear screams coming from somewhere in the house. _Rachel_ he thought desperately, swinging his legs out of bed and almost getting tangled in the blankets. Somehow he managed to make his way to the door and groped blindly for the door handle, the screams were getting louder and louder. Finally finding the door handle, he yanked open the door and sprinted down the hall to Rachel's room. Throwing open the door and turning the light on, he was horrified to see Rachel sitting bolt upright in her bed, screaming. Her eyes wide open, her face a mask of horror and pain. He was across the room in three quick strides.

"Rachel!" he said, catching her hands and holding them. Rachel stopped screaming and looked at him, her eyes widening as they focused on him.

"It was a nightmare, I'm sorry," she whimpered. Noah shook his head and sat down on the bed, pulling her into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she sobbed.

"Shhh, shhh, it was a dream, Rachel, you're safe now," Noah whispered as for the second time that day he rubbed her back soothingly. He noticed dimly that she was wearing a pair of pajama shorts and that her legs were starting to dimple with goose bumps. Rachel sniffled against him and pulled back to look at the boy who had once been her enemy but had been nothing but a pillar of strength for her over the last couple of days.

"I'm so sorry, Noah, I disrupted your sleep," she hiccupped. Noah shook his head as he carefully placed her back into bed, pulling the covers up around her.

"It's okay, it's okay. Are you all right now?" he asked. Rachel nodded and he got up, about to leave the room.

"Noah, wait, please. Will-will you stay with me?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course. I just need to go get a pillow and some blankets," he said. Rachel looked puzzled at that.

"I-I figured you probably wouldn't want me to sleep in the same bed with you, so I'll sleep on the floor," Noah said. Rachel shook her head and pulled back the covers on the other side of the bed.

"Are you sure?" Noah asked. Rachel nodded and he crossed the room to turn off the light and close the door. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but once they did he made his way carefully across the bedroom and slipped under the covers, pulling them up around the two of them. Rachel snuggled against him and he wrapped an arm around her, holding her close.

"Go to sleep, Rach," he whispered as he rubbed the spot between her shoulder blades.

"I'm scared to, I'm scared I'm going to see that again," she whispered back, shuddering as she remembered her nightmare.

"What did you see? Was it something to do with Chaya?" he asked hesitantly. He felt Rachel nod against him in the dark.

"I-I saw her take the pill bottle off the shelf, and open them. It was one of those dreams where you can see the other person but they can't hear or see you. I tried to get her attention, tried to get her to put the pills down but she couldn't hear me. I had to watch her swallow all those pills, Noah, all those pills that took her life, and I couldn't do anything to save her!" she whispered, trembling. Noah lay there, horrified. It was so easy to picture the scene, he felt as though he was watching the nightmare unfold too.

He didn't know what to say, so he started to sing, softly. As he sang the lyrics to 'Sweet Caroline' he felt Rachel relax against him. He felt her breathing even out and within minutes she'd fallen asleep. Noah felt his eyelids start to droop, and he offered a quick prayer to heaven that he and Rachel would sleep through the rest of the night.

The next morning, he awoke to see Rachel looking at him, her head propped up on one hand.

"Morning," she whispered.

"Hey, Rach, why don't you go back to sleep? I have to go get ready for school but I'll be here after school. There's leftover pancake batter in the fridge," he said. Rachel nodded and laid down again, her eyes fluttering closed. Noah leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead before getting out of the bed and tiptoeing out of the room. It was after 7am now, he figured he had enough time to shower and grab something for breakfast before heading to school. He went and got in the shower that was attached to the guest room he'd been sleeping in. As he stood under the warm water, he wondered what he could do to help Rachel. He was still wrestling with the problem five minutes later as he dressed and headed down the stairs to the kitchen, where he found a protein bar and a yogurt and a banana for his breakfast.

 _Rach must be rubbing off on me, I never eat this healthy for breakfast_ he thought, amused as he swung his backpack over his shoulder and left the house, only pausing to lock up behind him. He drove to school and pulled into the parking lot. Quinn, Brittany, and Mercedes had seen him pull into the parking lot and were waiting for him at the entrance. Noah nodded at the three girls as he approached.

"Sup, ladies?" he said as the four entered the school.

"Not much. Listen, Puck, we were thinking about something we could do for Rachel. Maybe send some flowers or something to her house . . ." Quinn started to say but she was cut off by Noah shaking his head.

"No, don't do that. She's having a really tough time as it is, and I don't think she'll want any flowers. We can talk about it in Glee this afternoon, okay? In the meantime, I have her homework from yesterday," said Noah, motioning for them to follow him to his locker. Unzipping his pack, he handed the girls the homework for the classes he didn't share with Rachel, but kept the assignments for Spanish, Math, and English, even though Quinn was in the latter two with him and Rachel. Brittany and Mercedes headed off to their first period Chemistry lab while Quinn and Noah headed for English.

"I didn't get a chance to tell Rachel you'd come and see her one day this week, yesterday was kind of a blur," Noah told her as they took their seats.

"Oh that's okay. Britt and I thought we might go and see her this afternoon after Glee," Quinn said as the teacher walked into the room and began the lesson. The period passed by slowly, and Noah caught himself glancing at the clock more than once. _Come on Puckerman, focus_ he thought. It was hard to though, hard to focus when his thoughts kept straying to a small brunette.

Somehow he made it through the day, with his and Rachel's shared teachers asking him how she was doing. By the time the fourth person had asked him, he was ready to hit something. Rachel's breakdown the evening before was still weighing heavily on his mind, and these people asking about her mental state wasn't helping. As he was walking towards the choir room, he heard his name being called and turned to see Mike, Artie and Sam hurrying to catch up with him.

"Haven't seen you all day, bro," said Sam as the four entered the choir room. Noah nodded and rubbed a hand over his Mohawk.

"Yeah I've been busy, getting my homework and Rachel's for tonight," he said tiredly as he sank into a chair. He was contemplating skipping baseball practice so he could go and spend time with Rachel. If he was being honest he was feeling emotionally drained from the day before and he just wanted to spend time with his girl. _Well, she's not my girl yet. But hopefully she will be soon_ he thought. Quinn, who had come in and sat down while he'd been talking, spoke.

"If you want, Puck, I can take Rachel's homework to her tonight," she offered. Brittany nodded vigorously next to Quinn.

"We thought we would stop and get some vegan cookies from the bakery and some coffee from the Lima Bean and take it over," she said. Puck smiled, not a grin, not a smirk, a genuine smile.

"That sounds great, but you guys should text her and make sure she's up for company first," he said. Quinn nodded and went to pull out her cell phone right as Mr. Schue walked into the choir room.

"Quinn, put your phone away please. Okay, guys, before we start rehearsal I want to hear some ideas about what we can do for Rachel and her family. Puck, do you know when her cousin's funeral is?" Mr. Schue asked, picking up a whiteboard marker and preparing to write the suggestions down.

"Her cousin's name is Chaya, and her funeral was yesterday," Puck said irritably. He was getting tired of hearing Chaya being referred to as "Rachel's cousin," or "her cousin." Mr. Schue turned around to look at him, clearly surprised.

"Didn't her cousin just die on Sunday? A funeral yesterday seems a bit too fast," said Blaine, the rest of the club nodding in agreement. Noah startled them all when he stood up from his chair and knocked it over.

"What did I just say?! 'Her cousin' as you put it, has a name! Her name is Chaya, and I can tell you all right now Rachel would be even more devastated now than she already is. All freaking day I've had people ask me how Rachel is doing and referring to Chaya as "the family member who took her own life," never once by her name; and then I come in here and you guys are doing the same thing! Damn it all, if Rachel heard you guys talking about Chaya like she doesn't exist anymore, she'd be even more upset. She is still alive in Rachel's memory and in her heart; you would all do well to keep that in mind. And to answer your question, Anderson, in our religion we usually hold a funeral right after the person who has passed on, usually within the first 24-48 hours but not all of the family could make it for Monday so they decided Tuesday for the funeral," Noah finished his rant.

"Okay, Puck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything, really I didn't," Blaine said, feeling guilty and a little scared knowing he had inadvertently upset the footballer who held a soft spot for the club's diva. He remembered Kurt telling him how Puck used to be before he joined glee club, and he'd caught a glimpse of that person as Puck was ranting. Noah looked at Mr. Schue, who was still standing by the whiteboard.

"I've already told Quinn, Brittany and Mercedes this, but don't send flowers to Rachel. If anything, make something and take it over so she doesn't have to cook dinner, or take her cookies. Or just go and sit with her for awhile. Let her talk about Chaya as much as she needs to, ask her questions about Chaya, because the worst thing you can do is avoid bringing up the deceased. To do that is an insult to their memory," Noah said. He glanced at the clock and shook his head.

"I can't be here right now, I'm sorry." Mr. Schue and his teammates watched silently as Noah gathered up his belongings. After a moment's hesitation Quinn stood up and motioned to Brittany. The two girls followed Puck out of the room.

"Puck, wait up!" called Quinn as she and Brittany hurried to catch up to the footballer's long strides. Noah closed his eyes and turned around.

"Look, Q, I'm not in the mood for a lecture okay? I know the time is running down on the clock for Nationals, but right now I'm more concerned about Rach and having teachers ask me about her and her cousin all day . . . I just need to get out of here. I've had enough of this place for one day," he confessed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"I know, and I don't blame you. I was just going to ask if you think it's a good idea for me and Britt to still go over this afternoon," Quinn admitted. Noah glanced at the clock on his phone and hesitated. Baseball practice didn't start for another hour, so he could go back to Rachel's for a bit with the girls and then come back to the school.

"Sure, you guys can catch a ride with me if you want," he offered.

"That would be great, we both took the bus this morning," said Quinn as she and Brittany followed him out to his blue pickup truck. The trio had taken their jackets and backpacks to glee rehearsal, so there was no need for them to stop at their lockers on the way out. Noah unlocked the truck and opened the passenger side door before turning to help Quinn up first, and then Brittany.

"Puck helping a girl into a truck, I never thought I'd see the day. Last year you would have let a girl struggle in hopes of seeing a flash of panty," said Quinn. Noah chuckled as he got into the truck himself.

"I seem to remember helping you last year when you were pregnant with Beth. I've grown up since then," he said as he checked to make sure the girls had their seatbelts on before buckling himself. He did a full shoulder check to make sure there was no one around before pulling out of the parking space. Quinn nodded.

"I guess you have," she said quietly.

"Maybe we all have. I mean this time last year we all tolerated Rachel but this year we actually, most of us anyway, are becoming friends with her. Puck can we still stop at the bakery? I'd bake but I don't think you have an oven in your truck," said Brittany. Noah and Quinn laughed.

"You're right, Britt, I don't. Sure, we're almost to the bakery anyways," said Noah as he changed lanes. Within two minutes they were at the bakery. Brittany clapped her hands as Noah put the truck in park and unbuckled her seatbelt, she was out of the truck before Noah and Quinn had even unbuckled their own seatbelts.

"She's like a kid in the candy store. Come on Puckerman, we'd better make sure she doesn't buy out half the store," said Quinn. Noah nodded as the two of them got out of the truck and he locked it before hurrying after Quinn and Brittany. Brittany was walking up and down the aisles, her arms loaded with bags of cookies already.

"Britt, we have to put some of these back," Quinn said gently as she and Noah caught up to Brittany.

"But Rachel's sad, I thought if we had all sorts of cookies she would feel better," Brittany pouted. Noah smiled inwardly at the blonde's concern for Rachel and her eagerness to help the other girl.

"Brittany, just you guys being there with her is going to make her feel better. We need vegan cookies too," Noah said, strolling towards that aisle. Behind him he could hear Quinn gently persuading Brittany to put some of the bags back.

"Well, can we keep the smiley face cookies and the rainbow cookies? My mom always gets those for me whenever I feel sad," Brittany explained. Quinn nodded, smiling.

"We can keep those, Britt, but we have to put everything else back," she said. Brittany nodded, and then hesitated.

"I can't remember where the others go," she said sheepishly. Quinn sighed with mild exasperation and guided Brittany up and down the aisles. Fifteen minutes later they were at the checkout when Brittany spotted something.

"Can we get this for Rachel, too?" she asked, holding up a coffee mug with gold stars painted against a blue background. Quinn smiled and picked up the box that held the mug.

"Sure, Britt. Put that one back, it's for the display," she instructed. Then she turned to Noah.

"If you want to run to the Lima Bean and pick up the coffee, I'll pay for everything here," she offered. Noah nodded as he looked at the line in front of them. It was surprisingly busy for 4:00 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. He handed Quinn the bag of vegan cookies he'd picked up for Rachel.

"I'll meet you guys back at the truck," he said. The two former Cheerios nodded and he left.

"Do you think Puck and Rachel will get back together?" Brittany asked Quinn as the line moved forward and the two girls walked closer to the count. Quinn was silent for a moment or two as she gave the question some serious thought. She turned to her friend who was looking at her expectantly.

"I hope so, Britt. If you'd asked me that a year ago, I probably would have laughed and said no. But, Puck and Rachel make sense. More so than Puck and I did, and more so than she and Finn did," Quinn admitted. Brittany nodded as they finally approached the counter and Quinn laid their purchases on the counter, pulling out her wallet to pay for everything.

"What about you and Finn?" Brittany asked once Quinn had paid and they were waiting by the truck for Noah. Quinn sighed; her relationship with the quarterback at the moment was tense. They were running for Prom King and Queen, but she knew that part of his heart still lay with Rachel.

"I-I don't know if we'll last past prom, or if we'll even make it to then," she admitted. Brittany nodded and opened her mouth to ask another question, but Noah had returned to the truck, holding a drinks tray, which he gave to Brittany. He unlocked the truck and helped the girls in again before running around to the driver's side and climbing in himself.

"Unfortunately, ladies, I think I'm going to have to drop you at Rachel's and head back to McKinley for baseball practice," he said as he drove out of the parking lot and headed to Rachel's. The girls nodded, Brittany carefully holding the drinks tray on her lap. Fifteen minutes and three red stop lights later, they'd reached the Berries' residence. Noah put the truck in park and he and the girls scrambled out. He carried Quinn and Brittany's bags for them as they followed holding the goodies from the bakery and the coffee.

Rachel was sitting on the couch staring at the piano when she heard the doorbell ring. Getting up to answer it, she opened the door to see Noah with Quinn and Brittany behind him. Noah stepped over the threshold and enveloped her in a hug.

"How are you holding up?" he asked quietly. Rachel shrugged in his arms.

"I'm okay," she said as she and Noah broke apart. She looked questioningly at Brittany and Quinn. Quinn opened her mouth to speak but Brittany beat her to it.

"Hi Rachel! Quinnie and I decided we wanted to come visit you today after Glee practice and we caught a ride with Puck. Oh and we stopped at the Lima Bean and the bakery for goodies," said Brittany as she set the drinks tray down and wrapped the petite singer in a hug. Rachel stiffened in surprise before relaxing and hugging Brittany back.

"Well, thank you, Brittany that's really nice. I'd be really glad of the company while Noah is at sports practice," she said. Brittany released her and picked up the drinks tray and took the bakery bag from Quinn, who stepped forward and hugged Rachel gently.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel," she said as she released the smaller girl. Rachel smiled at her.

"Thank you, and thank you for coming today," she said softly. Noah cleared his throat.

"I'd better get going; Coach will have my ass if I'm late to practice. Rachel, I leave you in Quinn and Brittany's hands," he said.

"Don't worry, Puck, we'll take good care of her," said Brittany. Noah nodded at her and Quinn before touching Rachel gently on the shoulder. With a quick smile and a wink, he was out the door. Moments later they heard the truck rumble to life and pull away. Rachel turned to her guests.

"Um, well I guess we could go sit in the living room," she said. The other two nodded and followed Rachel into the aforementioned room. Quinn handed Rachel the low-fat dairy free coffee Noah had picked up for her before settling back with her caramel macchiato and Brittany with her hot chocolate. For a few minutes there was only silence, and then Brittany spoke.

"We got you a present from the bakery, Rachel. It was my idea," she said as she reached into the bakery bag and extracting a square box, which she held out to Rachel. Rachel set her coffee on the end table beside her chair and took the box from Brittany. She opened the box curiously and pulled out the mug. Her chin trembled and her lips quivered as she turned the mug carefully in her hands.

"You don't like it, do you? I can take it back and get you a different one," said Brittany as she wrung her hands together. She'd just wanted to make Rachel happy but instead she had made her even more upset.

"It's not that at all, Brittany. I really like the mug, thank you so much. It's very thoughtful of you both," said Rachel as she set the mug on the table and got up to hug Brittany and Quinn. They hugged her back before Brittany let go and tugged Rachel to sit down between them, rubbing Rachel's hands between her own. Quinn got up and retrieved Rachel's coffee before sitting back down and placing a hand on Rachel's back.

"Would you tell us something about Chaya?" she asked. Rachel looked over at Quinn in surprise.

"Um, sure, what do you guys want to know about her?" she said, after a moment's hesitation. Quinn shrugged.

"I don't know, like her hobbies, or some favorite memories you have with her," she suggested, Noah's words from earlier in the afternoon still ringing in her head. Rachel smiled sadly as she looked at the piano.

"We would always play piano duets whenever she came here, or when I went to her house. Chaya wanted to be a nurse, so she was in all the AP and Honours courses. She was like me in the fact that she was driven and she knew exactly what she wanted in life. And like me, she was bullied and looked down on for that. For a long time, Chaya was the only friend I really had. She knew about the slushies and about all the other bullying too, and she-she had her own bullying to deal with but she always found the time to help me with mine the best she could," Rachel said, swallowing hard. The tears started to leak out of her eyes again.

"Rachel I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry," Quinn said, distressed and a little disgusted with herself. Rachel shook her head.

"No it's okay. I should talk about Chaya. It's only been four days but it feels like an eternity since Sunday night, when I got the call. I miss her so much already. And-and I'm afraid. I'm afraid that eventually I'll forget what her voice sounds like," Rachel admitted, sniffling. Quinn looked over at Brittany, seeing that her friend had tears in her eyes and was crying quietly. Quinn brushed at her own tears and reached across Rachel's lap for Brittany's hand.

"Now I've made both of you cry too, I'm so sorry, girls," Rachel said. Quinn shook her head.

"Don't say you're sorry, Rachel. You don't say that to anyone today okay? If anything it should be us apologizing to you. We both had a hand in your bullying, sometimes playing a bigger part in it than others and I'm truly sorry for that. And as long as you think of Chaya and remember her and love her, she'll never leave you. She's in your heart, always," Quinn said. Rachel nodded, her tears slowing.

"Quinn's right, Rachel, she's right about everything. We could have stopped the bullying but instead we encouraged it and joined in. Did you ever read the Harry Potter books?" Brittany asked. Rachel nodded.

"Chaya and I would read them together every summer. My aunt and uncle have a tree house at their house, and on summer nights Chaya and I would take blankets and snacks and sodas up with us and we would take turns reading the chapters out loud," Rachel said, smiling as she remembered the feeling of being tucked away from the world and lost in the world of Hogwarts.

"Do you remember what Sirius says to Harry in the third book when he's about to leave with Buckbeak?" Brittany asked. Rachel frowned, not in annoyance at Brittany but trying to remember what the line was.

"He said, 'the ones that love us, never really leave us.' And that we can always find that person in our hearts, even if they're gone forever," Rachel remembered. Brittany nodded.

"She'll always be with you, forever," Brittany said. Rachel smiled at the two blonde girls who had once been her enemies and squeezed their hands tighter.

"Thank you both," she said quietly. Brittany and Quinn smiled and snuggled closer to Rachel. Together the three girls watched as the afternoon sun faded away and the shadows began to come in.

When Noah returned to the Berries' residence at quarter to six, he was happy to find the three girls sitting on the sofa in the living room. The cookies looked untouched but he noted happily that Rachel looked like she was slowly returning to herself.

"Hello, Noah. Did you have a good sports rehearsal?" Rachel asked. Noah nodded as he settled in the armchair.

"The word is 'practice,' Rach. How about you girls?"

"The afternoon was good, my mom is on her way to pick us up," Quinn said as she stood and stretched. As if on cue there were headlights turning into the driveway.

"Come on Britt. We'll see you later, Rachel," said Quinn as she picked up her backpack. Brittany bent down and gave Rachel a big hug.

"Bye Rach, we'll see you next week, okay?" Rachel nodded and got up to show the girls to the door.

"Thank you both again for the company and sympathy," she said. Quinn and Brittany nodded, waved at Noah and let themselves out into the night. Rachel shut the door behind them and turned to look at Noah.

"How does pizza sound for dinner?" she asked. Noah smiled as he got up and walked towards her.

"It sounds perfect," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

 **Author's Note: Phew! That was a long chapter! I'm so sorry it's taken me a week to repost this story but I kept finding little things that needed to be fixed in all the chapters. In addition I completely rewrote this chapter and Chapter 4. The aftermath of Chaya's funeral was emotionally difficult for me to write. I lost two of my grandfathers within a month of each other when I was 12, and I lost a friend to a car accident when I was 17, and then last fall I lost a friend who I've known since I was seven to an accidental drug overdose. I drew on those emotions to write Rachel's breakdown, and I had to walk away from this chapter for a bit because it was all too real for me. Thanks for reading guys. Till next time, Xoxoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee; if I did Puckleberry would have been together seasons 2-6.**

While they were waiting for the pizza to arrive, Noah and Rachel settled on the couch. Rachel took a deep breath and turned to face Noah.

"I read your letter, Noah. I was very . . . moved by it and I can't tell you how much it meant to me to read those words from you and they mean even more now after these last few days." She paused and looked closely at the boy who had poured his heart out into that letter. He was looking back at her, apprehensive but hopeful. Rachel smiled and took his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I would love to be your girlfriend again. For real this time, because there's nothing in the way saying we shouldn't be together. No Finn, no Quinn, no Jesse, just us. We're not fifteen anymore and desperate to forget other people, and I-mmph," Rachel was cut off by Noah pressing his lips to hers. That was the answer he'd been waiting for. For a few minutes they just sat on the couch, kissing gently.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to give you my answer, I just got so distracted with Chaya's funeral and everything else that was going on. I was actually going to text you on Monday and ask you to come over before you showed up with everyone," she admitted.

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you Rach, it's been driving me crazy the last couple of days not knowing if you'd read the letter or not. I understand why though, so don't apologize. Okay? We're good, baby," he said. Rachel smiled at him and moved forward to kiss him again.

The rest of the week passed by quickly, and as Monday drew nearer, Rachel felt nervous. Would everyone know about Chaya? What would they say when they saw her on Noah's arm again? She expressed her concerns to Noah on Sunday night while they were getting ready for bed. Noah pulled the covers back and climbed under them while he waited for Rachel to come out of the bathroom.

"I mean, I wouldn't put it past Jacob Ben Israel to report something about Chaya on that horrible blog of his, and when we walk into the school tomorrow, the gossip mill will be working overtime," she said as she flipped the light off and came to crawl into bed next to Noah, who immediately pulled her into his arms and let her lay her head on his arm.

"Baby, it's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. Quinn and Brittany and Mercedes all texted me to say they're going to meet us before school in the morning so we can all walk in together. Okay?" Rachel nodded slowly.

"So you're . . . you're not embarrassed to be seen with me then?" she asked quietly. Noah cursed silently. _Freaking Hudson, he really did a number on your self-esteem, didn't he Rach?_

"Rach, no of course not. What was it you said to me last year right before Karofsky hit me with that slushie? You said you were proud to have me on your arm in front of the school, and that's still true now," Noah smiled at her and pulled her in for a sweet kiss. As he turned the lamp off and focused on the girl in his arms, Noah made a vow there and then that he would spend every minute proving to Rachel she was good enough just the way she was. _I'll never let you feel that worthless ever again, Rachel. You're perfect just the way you are_ he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Rachel was quiet on the way to school the next morning. As Noah pulled into the parking lot, she peered out the window. She saw Quinn, Brittany, Mercedes and Tina at the front entrance of the school. Noah pulled the truck into a parking spot and looked over at her.

"You ready for this, babe?" Noah asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt. Rachel shrugged as she unbuckled.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she said honestly. She climbed out of the truck and dragged her pink trolley bag out with her. Noah waited until she had closed the door before locking the truck and walking around to the tailgate. He held out his hand to Rachel, who slipped her hand into his and laced their fingers together. They'd done this a lot over the last week, it felt like second nature now. They walked towards the four girls who were waiting for them. Mercedes stepped forward and hugged Rachel tightly.

"Hey diva, I know you're feeling a little freaked right now, but we've all got your back, okay? If anyone gives you any flack you just come and find me or Quinn and we'll take care of them for you," Mercedes said. Rachel smiled her first genuine smile in days.

"Thanks Mercedes, I appreciate it. And thank you so much for the cookie basket you brought over on Thursday after practice, it's lovely," said Rachel as they walked into the school. Mercedes winked at her before waving and heading off to Chemistry with Brittany. Tina hugged Rachel tightly before telling her she would see her in Glee before heading off to her first period Math class. Quinn and Noah stopped at Rachel's locker with her so she could get her Spanish books. She took a deep breath as she closed her locker. Noah took her hand again and squeezed it as they walked down the hall while Quinn walked alongside them with her Ice Bitch glare painted in place, gracing anyone who looked at Rachel with it.

They reached the Spanish classroom where Santana was standing talking to Finn. Their conversation ceased as the trio approached them. Santana looked Rachel up and down.

"Santana, Finn," said Rachel as they came to a stop. She kept eye contact with the two of them while they stared at her like they'd never seen her before. Santana was the first to break the silence.

"How are you feeling, Berry?"

"I'm good," Rachel responded. She kept her gaze locked on Santana, who squirmed uncomfortably. Just then the classroom door opened and Mr. Schuester poked his head out.

"Hi Rachel, welcome back," he said warmly.

"Thank you Mr. Schuester," Rachel said as she and Noah entered the classroom. Quinn however, stayed outside with Santana and Finn.

"Listen you two, and listen well because I'm only going to say this once. Rachel does not need to hear any comments or jokes about suicide like I've been hearing around the school for the last week. Now I know that you guys haven't been making those comments, but you say one wrong thing to or in front of Rachel and you have me, Mercedes and Puck to deal with. Are we clear?" Quinn asked. The two nodded.

"Glad we understand each other," said Quinn, before flipping her hair over her shoulders and walking into the classroom, she may not be head cheerleader anymore but she could still make people shake in their boots with a single glare. Santana rolled her eyes and walked into the classroom, Finn behind her. She took in how Quinn and Noah had placed themselves on either side of Rachel. What was going on here?

The rest of the school day passed by quickly, and before Rachel knew it, the time for glee rehearsal had arrived. She stood outside the choir room door nervously, Noah at her side.

"I don't know if I can do this. The last time I was in here I had a crying fit and left," she admitted. Noah smiled sweetly at her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"You can do this, Rach, I know you can. Come on," he said, opening the choir room door and leading her into the room. All conversation ceased as they made their entrance hand-in-hand.

"Dude, what the hell? You promised me you'd stay away from Rachel, remember?" Finn exploded, referencing the conversation he and Noah had had after Rachel and Noah had sung _Need You Now._ Noah opened his mouth to reply but Rachel beat him to it, gracing Finn with a glare.

"You listen to me, Finn Hudson. It is none of your business or any of your concern who I date or am friends with. And who do you think you are talking about me like I'm a piece of property or a piece of luggage with your initials stamped on? You don't own me, Finn. You would do well to keep that in mind," Rachel snapped before leading Noah to two seats in the back of the room.

"What promise is he talking about?" she asked him softly. Noah shook his head and mouthed _later_ as Mr. Schue came into the choir room.

"Okay guys, I hope you all had a good weekend, and Rachel, it's good to have you back," Mr. Schue said, smiling warmly at her. The rest of the club voiced their agreement and Rachel smiled slightly.

"Thank you Mr. Schue, thank you everyone. Before we start practice, Mr. Schue, would you mind if I sang something for Chaya? I couldn't sing at her funeral," Rachel said, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Sure, Rachel the floor is yours," said Mr. Schue as he went to take a seat next to Brittany. Rachel nodded as she stood and walked to the middle of the room.

"Artie, Sam, Puck, can you guys come help me out?" she asked. The three boys nodded and came to the front of the room with Rachel. Rachel swallowed hard. "I'm a little bit nervous. We've been working on this song for only a few days, and this is the first time we've performed it in front of other people," she admitted, with a glance at Noah and the boys who were getting into position.

"Just act like you're back in rehearsal," Tina said.

Rachel nodded and looked at the boys to check that they were ready. Seeing that they were, she licked her lips and started to sing a capella.

 _If I die young, bury me in satin_

 _Lay me down on a, bed of roses_

 _Sink me in the river, at dawn,_

 _Send me away with the words of a love song_

 _Uh oh, Uh oh_

Puck, Sam, and Artie began to play their parts, keeping their eyes on Rachel all the while.

 _Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother_

 _She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colours, oh and_

 _Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no_

 _Ain't even grey but she buries her baby_

 _The sharp knife of a short life, well_

 _I've had, just enough time_

Rachel's voice started to shake and wobble. She rubbed her chest, feeling the ache that had been sitting around her heart for the last week intensify again. She took a deep breath and sang the next verse, Noah and the boys joining her.

 _If I die young, bury me in satin_

 _Lay me down, on a bed of roses_

 _Sink me in the river, at dawn_

 _Send me away with the words of a love song_

 _The sharp knife of a short life, well_

 _I've had, just enough time_

 _And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom_

 _I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've_

 _Never known the lovin' of a man_

 _But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a_

 _Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever_

Rachel looked over at Noah and he nodded encouragingly at her. _Come on baby, you're doing so good_ he thought desperately. After their conversation the night before, he and Rachel had only gotten a couple hours of sleep before Rachel's nightmares woke them again. He'd held her as she cried, tears silently falling down his own face.

 _Who would have thought forever could be severed by_

 _The sharp knife of a short life, well,_

 _I've had, just enough time_

 _So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls_

 _What I never did is done_

 _A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar_

 _They're worth so much more after I'm a goner_

 _And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singin'_

 _Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'_

 _If I die young, bury me in satin_

 _Lay me down on a, bed of roses_

 _Sink me in the river, at dawn_

 _Send me away with the words of a love song_

 _Uh oh (uh oh)_

 _The ballad of a dove (uh oh)_

 _Go with peace and love_

 _Gather up your tears; keep 'em in your pocket_

 _Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh_

 _The sharp knife of a short life, well_

 _I've had, just enough time_

 _So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls_

The final notes of the song faded away. One by one, the tears Rachel had been holding in slid down her cheeks, faster and faster as she struggled to contain herself and regain her composure. Slinging his guitar off of his back, Puck handed the instrument to Sam and rushed over to his girlfriend, but Mercedes and Quinn got there first. Rachel leaned heavily into Mercedes, sobbing as Quinn looked over at Mr. Schuester and the rest of the glee club, all of whom had heartbroken expressions on their face. They hadn't realized just how much pain Rachel was in, but as she continued to sing they had seen what they had been missing for the first part of the day: Rachel was acting, trying to convince them all she was fine. Santana was feeling guilty and ashamed as she remembered how she had spoken to Rachel the day they found that her cousin had died. _How could have I been so cruel to her?_ She wondered as she watched Quinn and Mercedes try to comfort the petite brunette.

"All right guys, um, why don't we take five?" Mr. Schuester suggested. Quinn and Mercedes nodded as they led Rachel gently from the room. At the door Quinn turned back.

"You might want to make it 10-15 minutes. We'll get her cleaned up and calmed down and then come back," the former head cheerleader said. Mr. Schuester nodded and Quinn followed Rachel and Mercedes down the hall.

The moment the bathroom door closed behind Quinn, Rachel's sobs grew louder and louder. Mercedes and Quinn eased her onto the floor and sat on either side of her, each wrapping an arm around her. For a few minutes the three girls just sat. Taking a couple of deep breaths, Rachel sniffled and looked at her friend and former rival.

"I feel so ridiculous. So embarrassed," she said.

"Don't. Don't you ever feel that way, Rachel. You're going through a tough time and you have every right to grieve. Heck you can cry, scream, yell, whatever you think might help you feel better," said Mercedes.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. No one at glee is going to judge you," Quinn quoted Rachel's words from the previous year when Quinn had stopped coming to glee and Rachel had sought her out. Rachel gave a watery laugh.

"Throwing my own words back at me, huh?" she asked.

"They're good words, and good advice. I never would have admitted this at the time, but, if you hadn't said what you did to get me to come back, I probably wouldn't have come back at all. Then I truly would have been alone throughout my pregnancy. You're a good person, Rachel. You're always there for all of us and it's time for us to stand by you," Quinn said. Rachel's lips quivered and more tears slid down her cheeks.

Quinn sighed and drew Rachel against her shoulder, with Mercedes holding Rachel's hand and rubbing circles with her thumb. The door opened then. Quinn and Mercedes looked up, ready to defend Rachel if they needed to; but relaxed when they saw it was Miss Pillsbury.

"Girls, why aren't you in Glee?" Emma asked tiptoeing closer. She looked more closely at Rachel, noting that the girl had tears running silently down on her face. She carefully crouched down, so that she was on the same level as the girls.

"She sang a song for her cousin in glee club," Quinn answered. Rachel began to cry harder. Quinn rolled her eyes at herself; of course Rachel would want reminding of that. _Way to go Fabray_ she thought. Emma nodded and reached out and took Rachel's hand, germs be damned.

"Rachel, would you like to come back to my office? Quinn and Mercedes can go back to practice and tell Mr. Schuester that you're with me," Miss Pillsbury offered gently. Rachel sniffled and looked at the other two. They nodded at her.

"Okay," she said quietly. Emma nodded and stood up, helping Quinn and Mercedes get Rachel to her feet.

"I think it might be a good idea for you to take a few more days off school," Emma suggested, only to be met with a shake of Rachel's head.

"I can't. I can't miss any more school or glee rehearsals. Nationals are in May and it's already the middle of April and-and Noah and I have been practicing a duet that we're going to share with the group and-and Noah and Sam and A-Artie need me to be here for that so we can p-practice," Rachel managed to get out. Emma looked helplessly at Quinn and Mercedes, who were still hanging onto Rachel.

"Would it be okay if one of us came back to your office with you and Rachel, Miss P? Or we can get Puck and send him down?" Mercedes suggested.

"Sure we can do that. Rachel are you okay with that?" Miss Pillsbury asked. Rachel hesitated, and then nodded.

"Can you come with me, Quinn? If you're okay with that, Mercedes?" Rachel asked. Mercedes nodded and let go of Rachel.

"I'll go let the others know. I know Puck has baseball practice after school, so if you just want to hang out in Miss P's office until practice is over I'll take you home okay?" Mercedes said. Rachel nodded and let Miss Pillsbury and Quinn lead her from the room. Mercedes took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom and heading back to the choir room.

After Quinn and Mercedes had left with Rachel, Noah took his time packing away his guitar. Settling down on his chair he leaned back and closed his eyes, completely forgetting that he was in a room with eight other people.

"Puck?" Noah opened his eyes and saw Mr. Schuester standing in front of him. Noah shook his head and ran a hand over his face.

"That was a pretty emotional performance, are you guys okay?" Mr. Schue asked. Artie and Sam nodded while Puck gave a harsh laugh.

"Am I okay? No. Is Rachel okay? No. She's trying to act like she is but I know better," Noah said wearily. He felt the slight stirrings of anger beginning, but he was too emotionally drained.

"What do you mean, she's acting? She seemed fine until she started singing that song," said Finn.

"Exactly, she _seemed_ fine. How many of you have been around her after school or outside of glee? Huh? Have any of you, besides Quinn and Brittany and Mercedes, been at her house since last Monday when we took her dinner? No. I have been staying with her for the last week, sleeping in her bed with her because she needs someone to hold her through the night. I offered to sleep on the floor but she said no."

"Okay, Puck, it's okay," Mr. Schuester tried to placate him, but Noah couldn't stop.

"No, it's not okay. It's not okay that her cousin is dead, and it's not okay that someone died so young. All of you have seen the brave face she's putting on here at school, but that's all it is. A brave face. As soon as we get home, she reverts into this, this, this shell of a girl. She sits at the table, she does her homework, and then she sits on the couch and turns on the TV. I almost had to force her to eat this morning," Noah said, struggling to keep his emotions under control. He took a deep breath to calm himself and then continued.

"When it's time to go to bed, it's worse. I've lain awake with her ever since Chaya's funeral last week, holding her as she sobs her heart out. Then when she does go to sleep, it's only for a few minutes before she wakes up screaming for her cousin. It's the same dream every night: she sees Chaya with the bottle of pills in her hand that killed her. Rachel tries to stop her from taking the pills but Chaya can't see her and Rachel watches her cousin swallow those damn pills every night, knowing she can't stop her. You, none of you, know what it has been like for the last week because none of you have been there! I have been there with her all along and I can tell you all right now the stupid comments from you, Hudson, and you, Lopez are not helping her at all!" Noah roared. He was on his feet now, pacing the floor in front of the glee club.

Everyone was aghast; they had never seen Noah like this. The closest he'd come to losing control in front of them was last year after Vocal Adrenaline had egged Rachel. Brittany was biting her lips, trying not to cry. She didn't like it when people were upset and she was feeling sad and guilty she hadn't seen how much her friend and teammate was hurting. Mercedes entered the choir room and slowed as she saw Puck pacing.

"Mercedes, is everything okay? Where are Rachel and Quinn?" Mr. Schuester asked. Noah whipped around, his eyes taking in the curvy singer but not seeing Rachel or Quinn with her.

"Where's my girlfriend, Jones?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"Puckerman, relax! Do you really think I'd just leave Rachel somewhere? She and Quinn are with Miss Pillsbury. Miss Pillsbury came into the girls' room while we were in there and she offered to take Rachel back to her office until she's calmed down and Quinn went with them. It's bad, guys. Rachel didn't stop crying the whole time we were in the girls' bathroom and when Miss Pillsbury suggested she take a few days off school she panicked and started rambling about how she needs to be here for classes and practice for Nationals," Mercedes confessed as she sat down next to Tina.

"I was just telling these guys what rough shape she's in. I don't want to leave her alone while we have baseball practice this afternoon," Noah said.

"Already taken care of, Rachel and I'm assuming Quinn are going to stay in Miss Pillsbury's office until glee rehearsal is over and then I'm going to drive Rachel home. I'll stay with her until you get to her house, Puck. You don't need to worry about anything, I'll take care of her," Mercedes assured him. Puck nodded his thanks.

"Thank you Mercedes. All right, guys, we still have some time left, does anyone else have anything they want to sing?" asked Mr. Schuester.

"Actually, Mr. Schue, do you mind if I go check on Rachel?" Noah asked. Mr. Schuester nodded in understanding.

"Sure, Puck, no problem," he replied. Puck nodded at him and then left the choir room, promising to be back shortly.

 **Author's Note: Whew! Heavy chapter! I just want to say that I already had "If I Die Young," by the Band Perry picked out for this story before Cory Monteith's death and the tribute episode. I can honestly say it was very difficult to write this scene because I couldn't get Naya's/Santana's breakdown out of my head. That episode broke my heart. I realize Noah's reaction may be a bit overdramatic, but he's very upset that Rachel is hurting so much and he's frustrated he can't do more than what he's been doing to help her and that no one other than Quinn, Brittany and Mercedes have made an effort with Rachel since they all had dinner at her house. I'll be resuming work on this story and Another Chance alongside Spring Break and An Unseen Side. Thanks for reading everybody, and I'll be back soon with another update** **Till next time, Xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

Emma led Quinn and Rachel to her office. As she opened the door, she looked over her shoulder in concern. Rachel was leaning heavily on Quinn, the latter rubbing her fingers over Rachel's bare arm. Closing the door behind them, Emma walked to behind her desk and settled into her chair. She watched Quinn help Rachel settle herself into a chair, and then sat next to her.

"This is your first day back at school, right Rachel? Since Chaya's passing?" asked Emma gently. Rachel nodded and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Emma picked up the box of tissues she kept on her desk and offered it to the young girl. Rachel gave a weak smile and took a couple, murmuring her thanks. Before she could speak, Noah pushed open the office door and walked inside. Quinn made a move to get to her feet but Noah shook his head.

"I just came to check on Rachel, Q," he told the blonde before turning his attention to his girlfriend. Crouching down next to her, he took her hand.

"Are you okay, baby? I can miss practice and take you home," he said. Rachel shook her head.

"I'll be okay. Don't miss your sports practice for me. Mercedes and Quinn and I can watch movies or something until you get to my house," Rachel said. Noah nodded and pressed a quick kiss to her hand. Standing up, he turned to Miss Pillsbury and Quinn, both of whom had been watching the interaction with interest.

"Thanks for letting her stay in here, Miss P. Quinn, I'll tell Mercedes to bring your backpacks when glee rehearsal lets out," he said. Quinn nodded.

"It's not a problem, Puck," said Emma. Noah nodded and left the office. Rachel sniffled and looked down at her lap.

"What's on your mind, Rachel?" Emma asked.

"I just want to feel normal again. I don't feel like myself anymore. I haven't for a long time actually," Rachel admitted. Emma nodded, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. Quinn licked her lips and thought about Rachel's behaviour over the last couple of months. Ever since the secret about Finn and Santana had come out, Rachel had been more insecure and vulnerable than usual. She hadn't offered ideas for numbers, and, Quinn remembered this with a cringe; she had been the first one to suggest original songs for Regionals, only to be shot down until Quinn had said she thought it was a good idea. Quinn was drawn out of her thoughts by Rachel's voice.

"I wish my cousin was still here. Every time one or the both of us had a bad day, we would call each other after school and just talk about our day until all the bad stuff didn't seem bad anymore. I guess I'm just coming to terms with the fact I won't get to do that with her again. And we were going to go shopping together for prom dresses too," said Rachel, her lips quivering. Emma nodded sympathetically.

"Do you journal, Rachel? I've found in the past that writing my feelings down on paper helps to alleviate the emotions," Emma said. Rachel shook her head.

"No, I usually sing when I'm feeling emotional, but I haven't felt like singing much lately. Today was the first time I've sang since Chaya died," Rachel admitted.

"I see. Well, why don't you give journaling a try? It's useful to have more than one coping mechanism and writing helps to unburden your soul," Emma suggested. Rachel nodded. Emma reached down and opened a drawer in her desk. Reaching into it she pulled out a spiral notebook, which she handed to Rachel.

"Here, you can use this as a starting point," she said.

"Thank you," said Rachel as she opened the notebook and flipped through it, taking in the blank pages. Quinn, who had been silent since Noah had left the office, spoke.

"Rachel, I know this won't be the same as going with Chaya, but if you want you can come dress shopping with me and my mom. I think we're going this Saturday, what do you say?" Quinn asked. Rachel hesitated, and then nodded.

"I would love that, thank you Quinn. Are you sure your mom will be okay with it?" Rachel said. Quinn laughed.

"Are you kidding, she'll be thrilled to have another girl along. Ever since she saw us perform at Regionals last year she's been asking to meet you formally," Quinn admitted. Rachel smiled and so did Emma. Before any of them could speak, Mercedes knocked on the glass, with Brittany, Tina and Lauren behind her.

"I guess practice is over," said Quinn as she and Rachel stood up.

"Thank you for letting us stay in here, Miss Pillsbury," she said.

"You're welcome. Quinn, if you don't mind I'd like to speak to Rachel alone for a moment," said Emma. Quinn nodded and left the office. Rachel turned to look at Emma.

"I'm aware that you see a therapist outside of school, but if you want you can come and see me too, okay?" Rachel hesitated, and then nodded.

"Do you have any appointments open for this week?" she asked. Emma pulled her calendar up on her computer and perused it.

"I have 11:30 and 1:00 open tomorrow, which works best for you?" she asked.

"Can I come see you at 1:00, I have a free period after lunch," said Rachel. Emma nodded and typed in Rachel's name.

"Okay. We're all set, I'll see you at 1:00 tomorrow," Emma said. Rachel nodded and left the office, softly closing the door behind her. The glee girls were waiting for her.

"Are you okay if Brittany and Tina and Lauren come to your house too?" Mercedes asked. Rachel nodded and the six of them headed to the exit.

"No Santana?" Quinn asked as they reached the parking lot.

"No, she was pretty quiet for the rest of rehearsal. We did ask her and Kurt and Blaine if they wanted to come with us, but Santana said she had something to do and Kurt and Blaine said they were heading home to help Mr. Hummel with something," said Tina. Quinn nodded as she watched Brittany lead Rachel to Quinn's convertible.

"The boys said they might come after practice. Puck said he was going to order pizza or something for dinner tonight for him and Rachel and then Sam said that we all needed to start making more of an effort to be a good friend and teammate to Rachel," said Tina as she and Mercedes got into Lauren's car. Quinn nodded and with a wave as she got into her own car. Brittany grinned at her from the backseat before turning her attention back to her conversation with Rachel.

"So what colour were you thinking for your prom dress, Rachel? I think you'd look great in a soft pink or a dark purple. Ooh and we could find a great eyeliner to make your eyes pop," Brittany rambled. Rachel smiled as Brittany continued yammering on about prom and how fun it would be to dress up.

"Is she always like this? I don't think I've ever heard talk this much," she whispered to Quinn. Quinn nodded as she slowed for a stop sign.

"Get her started on the right topic and she could go for hours. I bet when we get to your house she'll ask you to get your laptop so we can start looking at dresses," Quinn whispered back. Her prediction proved correct. As soon as the six girls walked in the door of Rachel's house, Brittany asked Rachel where her laptop was. After receiving permission from Rachel to get it, Brittany bounded up the stairs while the other girls helped Rachel organize snacks and drinks. When they carried their snacks into the living room, Brittany was settled on the couch, Rachel's laptop in front of her. She was squirming like an excited puppy.

"Let's have some snacks first, okay Britt? Then we can look at dresses and corsages," said Quinn as she settled on the couch next to Brittany. Brittany nodded eagerly as the other girls settled themselves on the Berries' furniture. Rachel sat in the arm chair and looked around her living room. Taking a deep breath, she spoke.

"Lauren, I'm so sorry," she said. The conversation ceased as everyone looked at Rachel.

"For what?" Lauren asked, puzzled.

"Well, I know that you and Noah were kind of involved and I just realized you guys were probably planning to go to prom together," Rachel said in a rush.

"Rachel, I broke up with Puckerman the day you told us about Chaya. As for prom, we hadn't even started discussing that but it's all good, my wrestling partner and I were going together. Didn't Puckerman tell you that I broke up with him because I could see that he wanted to be with you?" Rachel opened her mouth, and then closed it again and shook her head.

"I was so distracted with everything last week I didn't think to ask Noah and I guess he was too busy trying to hold me together that he forgot to tell me. So I-I didn't make him a cheater?" Rachel asked.

"Nope, he was free and clear when he got together with you. Now let's talk about prom, I've been having a hard time finding a dress," said Lauren. The girls all nodded and crowded around Rachel's laptop. Rachel's head spun as they went through website after website of prom dresses. She suddenly began to feel all of her sleepless nights as she struggled to keep her eyes open. She gave up as her eyelids drooped and she settled against the end of the couch, tucking an arm under her head as she closed her eyes.

"What do you think of this one, Rachel? Rachel?" asked Brittany as she turned to ask Rachel's opinion on a dark green dress that had a slit up the right leg. The girls stopped talking as they took in the small brunette curled up on the end of the couch, her breathing deep and even.

"Puck said she hasn't been sleeping remember? Because of the nightmares about Chaya," said Tina in a hushed tone.

"Come on girls, let her sleep. Let's go in the kitchen," said Mercedes. The other girls nodded and followed her out of the room, except for Brittany who stayed to cover Rachel with a blanket, tucking it in around the small brunette. Carefully picking up the open laptop, she tiptoed into the kitchen where the other girls had settled around the island.

 **Author's Note: Not quite as long as the previous two chapters but I thought this seemed like a good place to cut the chapter off. Hope you're all enjoying the story so far. Thanks for your patience while I balance school, work, and fanfiction. Till next time, Xoxoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Noah sighed as he finished changing post baseball practice. He hadn't been able to get Rachel's face out of his head all practice, causing him to nearly get nailed in the head a few times by a stray ball.

"Puck?" Noah started and looked around at Mike and the rest of the glee boys who were staring at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Are you cool with it if we come with you to Rachel's place tonight?" Mike asked. Noah nodded as he pulled out his phone.

"I'm going to call the pizza order in and get it delivered to Rachel's house. You guys know what you want? And maybe text the girls too," Noah said as his phone buzzed with a text from Mercedes. It read: **Rachel fell asleep on the couch, make sure you guys are quiet when you get here.** Noah sent her back a thumbs-up and turned back to the boys.

"The girls said they're good with whatever we get," Sam reported. Noah nodded and looked at Finn, who'd been silent since glee rehearsal.

"Hudson, you comin'?" he asked. Finn nodded and followed his teammates out of the change rooms, he was thinking about what he'd say to Rachel when he saw her. As he helped the boys get Artie into Mike's car, Noah hoped he hadn't done the wrong thing by inviting Finn to come to Rachel's.

The boys arrived at Rachel's house ten minutes later. Carrying Artie's wheelchair up the porch steps with Sam and Mike, Noah gestured for them to be quiet before turning the knob and letting them in. As soon as they were inside, they set Artie down before Noah looked into the living room. There, with a blanket tucked around her and her head pillowed on her arm, was his girlfriend, sleeping more peacefully than she had for the past week. Quinn came out of the kitchen and joined the group.

"How long has she been asleep?" Noah asked. Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Hi Puck, it's nice to see you too. She's been out for about an hour. She crashed while we were looking at prom dresses," she answered. Finn moved towards the living room.

"Finn, what are you doing? If you wake her up, so help me . . ." Quinn said exasperatedly.

"I was going to put her upstairs in her bedroom," Finn answered. By this time the rest of the glee girls had come out of the kitchen, including, much to Noah's surprise, Santana.

"That isn't your job, Hudson. Rachel isn't your girlfriend anymore, remember? Maybe you should let her BOYFRIEND of Christmas Present take her upstairs," Santana said testily. Noah nodded at Santana as he moved past Finn and to the couch. He carefully picked Rachel up and cradled her in his arms while keeping the blanket on her. He carried her past the silent Glee club and up the stairs. As he reached her bedroom door, she shifted in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Mmm, Noah," she murmured. Noah smiled as he entered her bedroom and approached the bed, carefully settling her onto it.

"You're okay, baby. Sleep," he whispered as he gently unwound her arms from his neck and placed them under the blanket with her. Rachel sighed and snuggled deeper into her pillows. Moving quietly, Noah moved to her window where he lowered her shades and drew the curtains. Tiptoeing towards the door, he closed it softly behind him before heading back downstairs. As he reached the second story landing, he heard the doorbell ring. _It's a good thing Rach has her bedroom soundproofed, that would have woken her up for sure if we'd let her sleep downstairs_ he thought before picking up the pace. He skipped the last couple of stairs in time to see the front door closing and Santana pocketing her wallet, a stack of pizza boxes in her arms along with the soup and salad he'd ordered for Rachel.

As Santana turned to face him, she saw him reaching for his own wallet. She shook her head.

"Don't worry about it, Puck. I've got it," she said, letting him take the top two pizza boxes and Rachel's food from her.

"Why?" Santana sighed.

"Look, we both know I'm not the nicest person or the easiest one to get along with. I can be a real bitch and I know that, it's why I put the word "Bitch" on my white t-shirt when we did _Born This Way_." Santana paused and Noah shifted. When she spoke again, her voice was softer than he'd ever heard it.

"But just because I'm a bitch, doesn't mean I don't feel things. This afternoon when you guys were singing _If I Die Young_ , I watched you watching Rachel and how tense you got right at the end of the song. I saw how she looked like her heart was cracking open into a million little pieces and I asked myself how I could have been so cruel to her when she told us about Chaya. Then it got me thinking about all the other times I've been horrible to her, even when she's been nothing but nice to me. I deserved that stripper comment she made a few months back. After all I've said far worse things to her. I know I've got a long road ahead of me for her to forgive me for everything, so consider me buying dinner as the start," Santana finished. Noah nodded.

"Thanks Santana. But she needs to hear that too," Noah told her as he turned to walk into the kitchen.

"I know, if she doesn't wake up tonight before I leave, I'll talk to her at school tomorrow. I promise," said Santana. Noah looked at her, honesty written all over her face and he knew she was speaking the truth. Just then, Quinn poked her head out.

"You guys going to stand out here talking all night? Or are you going to come in here so we can all eat? The food's probably getting cold," she said. Noah and Santana rolled their eyes as they followed Quinn into the kitchen where the rest of the club was waiting. Noah told Quinn where she could find the plates and cutlery as he set the pizza boxes down on the island before placing Rachel's soup and salad in the fridge.

 **Author's Note: And so Santana's path to redemption begins. I hated what they did with her character in the last two seasons. I stopped watching sometime in Season 2 but I've seen a lot of clips on YouTube. As always, thank you for your patience while I balance work, school, and fanfiction. Till next time, Xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Noah sighed as he finished loading the dishwasher. It was after eight in the evening, and it was just him, Quinn and Brittany left at Rachel's house. Except for Finn, most of the glee club had stayed around long enough to eat some pizza and make awkward small talk, and then had left shortly after. That had been at seven o'clock, and Finn had only left at 7:45 when it was clear Rachel wasn't coming down anytime soon.

"I'm sorry, Quinn," Noah said now, looking at the former head cheerleader who was sitting across from him with a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. Quinn shook her head.

"It's okay, Puck, I know Finn still has feelings for Rachel, but I'm not going to let that bother me or wreck the budding friendship we have," Quinn admitted. Noah nodded.

"That's good. I guess I need to think of a way to ask her to prom," Noah said, rubbing a hand over his Mohawk.

"Ask who to prom?" said a sleepy voice from the kitchen doorway. Noah, Quinn, and Brittany all turned to see Rachel standing there. She'd changed out of her school clothes into a long-sleeved T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

"Hey you're up, are you feeling better?" Brittany asked. Rachel nodded sleepily as she padded into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Noah's waist.

"I am, although I'm probably going to pay for it later. I won't get a good night's sleep tonight now I've slept the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening away," Rachel said as Noah rubbed the spot between her shoulder blades he knew she liked.

"Are you hungry, babe?" he asked and Rachel nodded.

"A little, but not really," she said.

"You need to eat something, Rach. Soup or salad?" Noah asked, releasing his girlfriend and walking over to the fridge. Rachel yawned as she took a seat next to Quinn.

"Soup I guess," she said as she stretched her arms over her head. Quinn finished her hot chocolate and then glanced at her watch.

"Britt, we better get going. We'll see you guys at school tomorrow okay?" she said. Rachel and Noah nodded.

"Sounds good, thank you both for bringing me home this afternoon," Rachel said as Noah placed a bowl of hot soup in front of her.

"You're welcome. Have a good night you two," Quinn said.

"Don't do anything we wouldn't do," Brittany added with a wink. Rachel choked on her soup while Noah looked like he was torn between chuckling or complete mortification.

"Britt! Okay, we're going," said Quinn, picking up her and Brittany's bags and hustling the other blonde out the door. Noah looked at Rachel who, to his surprise, was smiling slightly. She spooned the last bite of soup into her mouth and then pushed her bowl away.

"Who's asking who to prom?" she asked. Noah's cheeks turned pink and he busied himself with clearing the counter. Once he'd finished, he turned around to look at Rachel, who was looking at him expectantly.

"Uh, when you came downstairs, I-I was saying to Quinn and Britt I had to figure out a way to, umm, to ask you if you wanted to go to prom with me," he said nervously. Rachel's face split into a wide smile.

"Noah Puckerman, are you asking me to prom?" she said as she got up and walked around the island to where her boyfriend was standing.

"Um, well, yeah. I-I don't have flowers or teddy bears or any of that stuff, but, Rachel, would you like to go to our junior prom with me?" he asked. Rachel twined her arms around his neck and played with the tail end of his Mohawk.

"I'd love to go to prom with you," she answered before leaning up on her tip toes and giving him a soft kiss. Noah growled happily before placing his big hands on her waist and deepening the kiss. Rachel pulled away slightly and looked up at him before kissing him again. Noah moved his hands from her waist to the backs of her thighs and picked her up, causing Rachel to gasp and giggle as he placed her on the counter. As they kissed, Noah moved his lips from her mouth to her neck.

"Mmm, Noah," she moaned. Noah smirked against her skin as he drew light circles on her rib cage. _BRRRING!_ The ringing of the landline broke them apart.

"Oh my gosh," Rachel gasped as she gripped Noah's shoulders to keep from sliding off the counter. She looked at her boyfriend's face, whose hazel eyes were green. _Dark with desire_ Rachel thought, remembering a line from a book she'd read. Noah cleared his throat.

"Um, you should probably get that," he said in a husky voice. Rachel nodded and Noah lifted her off the counter, Rachel picking up the phone next to her as he did so.

"Hi Dad," she said as Noah made a strangled noise in his throat and went to sit at the island.

" _Hi pumpkin, Daddy and I just wanted to check in and see how you were holding up. Uncle James and Aunt Sarah called and told us about-about Chaya,"_ Hiram said, his voice choking slightly. Rachel smiled sadly.

"I'm okay, Dad. Noah's been staying with me for the last week and he's been really supportive through all of this. Quinn and Brittany and some of the other members from Glee Club have been over too. And Quinn invited me to go dress shopping for prom this weekend with her and her mom," Rachel said.

" _Oh that's good honey. I'm sorry Daddy and I aren't there to help you through this,"_ said Hiram. Rachel shook her head, and then remembered her father couldn't see her.

"It's okay Dad. When will you guys be home?" Rachel asked. Hiram sighed on the other side of the line.

" _Probably not for another two weeks, angel. I'm so sorry. We were hoping to be home by next Monday but this case I'm working on just took an unexpected turn and now we have to start back from square one. I'm so sorry Rachel,"_ Hiram said. Rachel winced at how tired her father sounded.

"It's okay Dad, let's just keep our fingers crossed that you guys will be home in time for prom and can take pictures," she said as she stepped towards Noah and wrapped his fingers in hers.

" _Here's hoping. Now, I know it's 9:00 there so I should let you go and let you and Noah get to bed. You both need your sleep,"_ Hiram said firmly.

"Okay Dad, I'll talk to you again at the weekend," Rachel said, snuggling into Noah's embrace. He chuckled softly, running his fingers through her ponytail. After Rachel had hung up with her father, she wrapped her other arm around his waist and leaned her head against his chest.

"We should probably get to bed, babe," Noah said softly. Rachel nodded sleepily and gently pulled away.

"Why don't you go on up and I'll lock everything up?" she suggested. Noah nodded and kissed her gently.

"See you in a few minutes," he said, winking impishly at her before leaving the kitchen and heading up the stairs. Rachel made a quick round of the house, checking every door and window before heading up the stairs. Noah was already lying in bed, one arm tucked under his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Rachel smiled as she headed into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Ten minutes later she opened the door and flipped the light off.

"How many of the glee club were here this afternoon?" she asked as she slipped into bed beside Noah, who immediately wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her onto his chest.

"Everybody except Kurt and Blaine, I'm not sure where those two were. But Santana was here when me and the guys got here. Finn tried to come up here twice while you were sleeping but Quinn and Britt stopped him the first time and then Mercedes and Artie stopped him the second time," Noah gave a brief summary of the afternoon. Rachel twisted so that she was facing Noah, resting her chin on top of her folded arms.

"Why would Finn try to come up here if he knew I was sleeping?"

"He wanted to talk to you. I feel bad for Quinn, and for you. Finn can't seem to make up his mind about which one of you he wants to be with."

"Well, he'll have to make up his mind. I'm with you now, Noah, and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon," Rachel said as she traced patterns on his bare chest. Noah turned them so that they were both lying on their sides, but keeping an arm under Rachel's head.

"That's a relief, because I'm intending to be with you for a good long while, Miss Berry. Longer than eight days, that's for sure. No more revenge make-out sessions, or duets to make Finn jealous; let's do it for real this time," Noah said as he reached behind him to shut off the light. Rachel hummed in agreement as she snuggled into him.

Noah woke the next morning to the sunlight gently coming in through the blinds. He looked down at Rachel who was already awake, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Morning," she said softly as she turned onto her back and stretched her arms over her head.

"Morning beautiful, notice anything different this morning?" Noah asked as he lightly stroked her cheek with the pads of his fingers. Rachel thought for a second.

"I didn't have any nightmares last night, I actually slept," she said. Noah nodded gently.

"Yeah, you did," he said softly. Rachel pulled herself up to lie on his chest, mimicking her position the night before.

"What do I have to do to get you to stay here with me? Just stay in bed all day and forget the world for awhile," she asked. Noah chuckled, the sound resonating through his chest.

"As much as I'd love to stay here with you, we need to go to school today. We have Glee rehearsals and you have an appointment with Miss Pillsbury today too," he reminded her gently. Rachel looked at him puzzled.

"Quinn told me you had an appointment with Miss P today, and you need to go, baby. It will help you. Besides, we have all summer long to be lazy," Noah said gently. Rachel nodded and yawned.

"Okay, I'll shower first and then you can take one," she said, rolling off of Noah.

"Or we could take one together, save on water and time," he suggested, smirking. Rachel shook her head and kissed his forehead before getting up from the bed and walking into the bathroom.

 **Author's Note: So, um, hi? Exam is over and done with, hopefully now I'll have more time to write. Hope you all enjoyed the fluffy Puckleberry this chapter, I certainly enjoyed writing it. As always, thanks for your patience while I balance school, work, and fanfiction. One more thing: I plan to have Noah sing a ballad to Rachel next chapter, any guesses on what it might be? Till next time, Xoxoxo.**


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